【Original】The Forgotten Lights

----Chapter 40

*Jay's POV*

I walked over behind Hansol to Ten and Sorata. I looked around. My brother was nowhere. That's odd. He should have been with Ten and Sorata. They said they'd take care of him, so where was he? I decided to ask them. "Ten, where's Kwon?" Hansol asked, I don't know how he read my mind. I looked at them as their expressions saddened. I began to cry softly. Why did I feel an awful pain like this? What happened to my brother? Ten looked behind him. I knew what he was looking at. We looked passed him, and saw Kwon laying on a stretcher with his eyes closed. I hoped like hell that he was sleeping. I followed Hansol over slowly. I couldn't believe it. "Kwon..." Hansol muttered kneeling beside my brother. He was crying. Sorata then apologised. Why... why were they apologising? What happened? Why isn't he waking up? It hit me. "No..." I mumbled. Hansol put his hand on Kwon's chest. His eyes saddened even more. "He's dead." Hansol mumbled. "No..." I mumbled again. This can't happen. I collapsed to the ground, and began to wail loudly. It was uncontrollable, I didn't have the control over my emotions. Why did Kwon have to die? It hurt. I looked to the ground as I heard footsteps running over. "He was my brother!!!! Those bastards killed my brother!!!" I screamed. The pain was unbearable. Worse than getting shot. Now I knew how Hansol felt. When Kris was killed, I didn't know the feeling. I cried because I can't stand seeing Hansol upset. Kris died protecting him, and Hansol was upset. I didn't understand how he felt when he lost Kris. I didn't understand when he lost Ryeowook. I couldn't understand the feeling when he lost his brothers. Now I do. I want the enemy dead. I felt Hansol pull me in for a hug. This was the first time he's given me a hug. It's usually the other way round. Ten then joined the hug. He pulled away and sat on a large box. "I could've protected him better. I'm sorry, guys." Ten sobbed slightly. I looked up. Why was Ten apologising? It wasn't his fault. I felt angry at him slightly, yes. But it wasn't his fault. I can't blame him. I wasn't there. He probably tried to help him. "It's okay. I forgive you, it wasn't your fault." I said, as I stood up. I felt a sudden feeling go through my body. It ran right through me. I was feeling some weird feeling I had never felt before. "I want those bastards dead. All of them." I cried loudly, and with anger. Hansol looked up at me. He sensed the change in my emotions, and I was sure he probably felt the same way as me. "I want to kill the enemy!!!! All of them!! They don't deserve happiness!!" I shouted looking at Hansol. I didn't even care that other people were looking at us in shock, but it had to be said. "Jay...." I heard Hansol mumble. I put my hands to my face, and cried loudly. Hansol looked to the ground. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault." He muttered. I stopped crying. His fault? How? He didn't murder my brother. He didn't start this war, the enemy did. I knelt down in front of him. He was crying. It hurt me more, and I was crying more. "Hansol... it's certainly not your fault... I don't know what I'd do without you. We'd still be in that god forsaken enemy camp." I cried. He looked up at me. His eyes were red, and his cheeks were wet from tears. It hurt. He felt guilty of Kwon's death. It wasn't even his fault. "Look, I need you Hansol. I can't let you, or anyone else, die." I said, grabbing his shoulders then putting my hand on his face. He cried a little more. I felt awful now. I put this guilt onto him hadn't I? I felt selfish. "Look... this might seem odd to you... but I can't let anything happen to you. I love you too much to let you die like them. I want you to be happy. Kwon's death wasn't your fault. It was the enemy. They killed Kwon. They killed your ma, Ryeowook, Jungkook, Siha and Kris. Not you. You didn't do it. I know you wouldn't kill your family. You loved them all, even Jungkook after he shot you. You still loved him, and didn't want him dead. Even if everyone else hated him, you still loved him. You couldn't make amends properly because of the enemy. Your brother was murdered right before your own eyes by the same people. Your best friend was murdered, and you never got to say goodbye to him at all. Need I say more? This war was never your fault. You're just a child, Hansol. A child from Busan, whom got dragged into this by accident. Whether you're with me or not, I want to end this war."