Living Louder

Chap. 1 What Started It All

Authors Note IMPORTANT: Ok this takes place at the end of the anime and after ward but with twist. First off Kyo and Yuki don't have a crush on Tohru any more they got over her and consider her a family member and nothing more. (yes I am aware they are not really family I wasn't saying they were just that she is treated like it.) Tohru is trying to help Akito at the end of the anime and ends up falling head over heels whether she knows it or not. Akito has had mixed feelings toward her since he saw her at the main house when she was visiting Hatori about the curse, but doesn't want to get hurt so loses his temper when around her. So now I think you know everything necessary to know before reading so lets begin.

Chapter 1

Tohru's POV.

"I admire your nerve, Tohru. What have you come here for?"

His voice was like ice. I stared blankly ahead at the wall not sure how to answer, because to be honest a don't know why I came here. I just felt like Akito needed me, someone, anyone. I wanted to help, but I don't know how. How do you help someone who has given up on hope, someone who has been told time and time again he was born to die?

"Go on tell me. I won't be angry. What have you come here for?" his voice just as cold, if not colder.

"I don't know." my voice was small and demeaning but it was true I don't know what I hopped to accomplish by coming here. Akito slowly got up and walked over so that he was right in front of me and grimaced. Oww! He grabbed a fist full of my hair and tugged me forward. Then what happened surprised me even more Shigure and Yuki stopped Akito. Akito is the head of the Sohmas, no one of the Sohma family goes against him, mostly because they are too terrified of him to. They held him back but Akito kept hold of my hair.

"It's not that you don't know is it? You just can't say it, can you?" he managed to pull my hair a little.

"Uh." it was starting to really hurt.

"Well let me say it for you. You want to go living with everyone in that house, but I won't allow it. I will make you regret you ever had anything to do with the Sohmas. You will suffer. You will suffer as we suffer. Did you think by coming here and kneeling before me you could change anything!"

He pushed me to the ground and I yelped. Yuki and Shigure tried to tighten their grip on him. It hurt. Not just the hard floor, but his words. His cruel words of truth: what could I expect to change. As much as I wanted to help, maybe I just couldn't.

"Well let me tell you, you can't! None of you can. You can never leave the Sohmas. Just like you can never go against me!" He yelled looking from Yuki to Shigure who still held on. He looked down at me, still holding on to my hair.

"Uh…huh…uh" I struggled to find my voice. He chuckled in the most evil way I have ever heard and for a moment I thought he must be evil through and through. Then thought better of it. Think of what mother would have said. 'Everyone has admirable qualities. Sometimes you just have to look a little deeper than most.'

"Now I want to hear you beg me for forgiveness. Say you'll never interfere with the Sohmas again." he said in his still cold voice.

"It must have been very painful, Akito. Being told the day you were born you were going to die." I said tears forming in my eyes. " It must have been so painful."

"What was! What do you know about it!" he screamed back at me his eyes filled with pain as he could no longer keep that sly grin of being better than everyone on his face. Instead his features took on a look of insanity. As if his pain had drove him to insanity. Then I realized it was his pain that had made him this way. I'm sure that underneath this hurt and pain he is a truly amazing, good, and kind person.

"Your right. I can't even imagine how awful it would be to know something like that, or how terrifying. Shigure and Yuki and Kyo, I'm sure they feel the same way. And Hatori, too." each look to me as I said they're names. Akito's looked shocked and I knew he had not been expecting to hear such things. I began to cry.

"And when you pass away we'll be sad. We'll be very sad to lose you." He began to tremble. "And so…"

"Huh, who's going to be sad. Everyone is able to live thanks to me. They all hope I will be gone quickly. I was born in order to die. That's what was decided." he shot back at me.

"But why? Who decided it had to be like that? Akito right now your alive aren't you." I cried. He was alive now he had to realize this. He had to live his life to the fullest. I had to help him. I…I loved him. The Sohmas were like family to me. Akito is a Sohma, Akito was like family.

"Alive, you call this being alive, do you! It's been decided. It's been decided! And they never even asked me!" he yelled and you could see the hurt in his eyes.

"I…I didn't know my mom was going to die." I began to comment.

"Silent!" he yelled and pulled my head back with the fistful of my hair he still held. "Stop talking. Hatori I want you to erase this girls memory. Do it now!" Silence. "Hatori!"

"I wanted her to live a long time." I tried again. "I wanted her to be here to watch me."

"Stop crying. Stop it, stop crying!" he screamed trembling once again.

"I don't know what your families cures is, but… I am happy. I am happy that I know you, Akito." his eyes widened as he looked at me taking in what I just said. "And I don't regret meeting you or anyone. Not at all." I looked up to meet his gaze. "I wanna know you. Please tell me how you feel. Even if your angry or bitter or frustrated. That's ok. Because the important thing is, right now Akito,…. Your alive."

He look at me a minute then slowly let go of my hair. He looked at me once more. He pushed Shigure and Yuki away from him then slowly backed away and said "I don't know." as he left the room.

Review plz. it will be more original in the next chapter it's just you need to know what she was thinking in order to understand the rest of the fic.