the Blind Guardian

Meeting of Jackasses

Just then, the ship shuddered as it got hit by something. We all rushed over to the main window, where the Milano was shooting at us.

"Captain, the shot is non-damaging," one of the pilots reported.

"Attention, idiots. The lunatic on top of this craft is holding a Hadron Enforcer. It's a weapon of my own design," Rocket's voice boomed over the comlink.

"What the hell?" Yondu asked, squinting at the Milano's furry pilot.

"If you don't hand over our companions now, he's gonna tear your ship a new one. A very big new one."

"I ain't buyin' it!" Yondu proclaimed.

"I'm giving you to the count of five. Five, four, three..." Rocket counted down, until Peter grabbed the receiver and yelled.

"Rocket! We're fine! Jeez!"

"Oh hey, Quill! How's it going?" Rocket asked casually.

Yondu allowed the Milano to dock at his large ship, letting Peter and I board. We walked together down the hallway and into the main room in the center of the ship by the cockpit.

"Hiya Rocket! Ya miss me?" I asked as he walked over to us. My brother was still holding my hand as we walked.

"Kinda. What's with the dark line on your jacket?" Rocket queried as he spotted the barely visible slash on my jacket. I looked over at him, deciding whether or not to tell him what had happened.

"I'll tell ya later, ok? Now we need to come up with a plan so that Yondu doesn't kill all of us," I stated, releasing Peter's hand as I sat down next to Rocket and Groot.

Peter began to explain his plan, with frowns and bored looks from the rest of us. When he finished, he looked at us optimistically.

"That's your plan? We're gonna rob the guys who just beat us senseless." Rocket said, frowning at Peter as he spoke.

"Oh you wanna talk about senseless?" I asked, "How about trying to save us by blowing us up?" I shot back, irritated by Rocket already.

"We were only gonna blow you up if they didn't turn you over," Rocket stated as he looked at me with a I-am-smarter-than-you look on his muzzle.

"And how on earth were they gonna turn us over if you only gave them a count of five?" Peter asked as he sarcastically put his hand on his chin as if he was thinking.

"Well, we didn't have time to work out the minutiae of the plan. This is what we get when we act altruistically!" Rocket snapped as he lowered his ears in aggravation.

"I am Groot," Groot stated calmly to Rocket as I furrowed my brow at what he said.

"They are ungrateful," Rocket said, agreeing with his large friend.

"What's important now is we get the Ravagers' army to help us save Xandar," Gamora chimed in, Drax and I nodding in agreement.

"So we can give the Stone to Yondu, who's just gonna sell it to somebody even worse?" Rocket said, his brown eyes burning holes into Peter.

This conversation is getting nowhere, I thought, silently tuning out the argument as I recalled that car accident. I shivered slightly, thinking of it.

"Oh!" Gamora cried out in frustration as Peter and Drax argued.

"She's right! You don't get an opinion!" Rocket yelled as he turned to Peter again. "What percentage?"

"I don't know, twelve percent?" He offered, making me roll my eyes. This brother of mine might be the end of me.

"Twelve percent?" Rocket made a fake smile, then a forced laugh that was not like his normal cackle-laugh. It was loud and obnoxious.

"That's a fake laugh," I said, trying not to snort as Rocket continued his fake laugh.

"It's real!" Rocket screamed as he forced out more laughs.

"Totally fake," Peter said, waiting for him to stop.

"That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my ENTIRE life because that is not a plan!"

"It's barely a concept," Gamora said, agreeing with Rocket.

"You're taking their side?!" Peter asked, his blue eyes not believing what Gamora had said.

"I am Groot."

"So what, it's better than eleven percent? What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Rocket retorted.

"Thank you Groot! Thank you!" Peter said, "See? Groot's the only person around here who had a clue." I held back a chuckle when Groot began to nip at a small leaf growing on his shoulder when Peter wasn't looking.

"Guys. Come on. Yondu is gonna be here in two seconds. He expects to hear this big plan of ours. I need your help. I look around at us, you know what I see? Losers." I saw Drax frown at Peter. "I mean, like, folks who have lost stuff. And we have. Man, we have. All of us. Our homes, our families, normal lives. And, usually, life takes more than it gives, but not today. Today, it's given us something. It has given us a chance." Peter finished as I looked up at him with a new expression.

"To do what?" Drax queried.

"To give a shit," Peter began, then watched in horror as Drax began to pull down his pants.

"Figuratively!" Peter said hurriedly as Drax looked at him then pulled his pants back up.

"For once, not run away. I, for one, am not gonna stand by and watch as Ronan wipes out billions of innocent lives." Peter finished, looking around at us as I leaned back lightly.

"But, Quill, stopping Ronan, it's impossible." Rocket said softly, his brown eyes showing concern. "You're asking us to die."

"Yeah, I guess I am...I" Peter rubbed the back of his neck as he turned around, his gaze down.

"Quill. I have lived most my life surrounded by my enemies. I will be grateful to die among my friends," Gamora said, standing up next to Peter. He gave her a thankful smile as I silently stood up.

"Peter, I've lost nearly everything. I will fight to the end, even if we are at a loss." I said as Peter smiled again.

"You are an honorable man, Quill. I will fight beside you. And in the end, see my wife and daughter again." Drax said as he too stood up next to me.

"I am Groot," Groot said, my heart melting as I comprehended what he said.

"Oh, what the hell. I don't got that long a lifespan, anyway. Now I'm standing. You all happy? We're all standing up now. Bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle." Rocket said, standing up on his box.

We then walked back on the access way that led to Yondu's ship. As Peter and Gamora explained our plan to the Ravagers, I recalled the crazy things that got us here: I met Groot who saved my life from Udraht and Rjizod, then I met Rocket by Groot. Then, I was introduced to Peter and Gamora as we were trying to beat the crap out of them. Then Peter electrocuted me, I killed someone, and then I was weak for the rest of the day. I was kidnapped with Gamora by the alien I had flipped off, and choked Drax. My life was threatened, then I almost died that night. I made a hole in Peter's arm, then the next morning healed it.

One after the other, the events piled up. I smiled to myself thinking that it all began with me meeting a tree man.