Mark My Words (Mark Tuan // Jung Ilhoon Fanfic)

Chapter 7 (Doubt)

Hey hey hey!! Sorry! I tried to update it as soon as possible. I'll try harder... anyways..enjoy!
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Mark: I love you. I always have.

My eyes widened and I felt my body became numb. For a whole minute, we were just staring back and forth at each other. This situation felt so right yet so wrong. Truthfully, a part of me was literally flying through rainbows when the words came out of his lips ever so smoothly. However, the bigger part of me was left speechless and heartbroken because what I was about to tell him would break his heart to a million pieces. I quickly remove my hand from his grip and took one step back without ever leaving my eyes from his.

Jade: Mark, I'm sorry. The thing is...

He averted his gaze to the sky to not let me see his tears. All the parts of my body scream to embrace him and tell him that everything is okay. But my mind stopped my actions. I hesitantly took one step back, feeling the need to have more space between us.

Jade: I'm dating someone else back in Australia and..

Mark: Stop.

His single word made me stop everything. Even my mind went blank. But I had the urge to finish what I wanted to say. And so I did.

Jade: ....I love him.

I heard him take a deep breath and rushed to wipe out his tears. Seeing him like this, my heart ached. I remembered that when we were younger, we promised that we'll do whatever we can to protect each other from getting hurt. But now, I was the one breaking the promise. I made him cry.

Because of me.

I didn't know what to do so I just froze there while I watched him breakdown. One of his hands was covering his mouth while tears jist uncontrollably fell from his eyes. All I could say was, "I'm sorry."

He hurriedly dried his tears and took deep breaths. Then, he forced a smile. A sad but sincere smile. After what I've done to him, he still forced a smile. At that moment, I started crying too. It was painful to watch him like that. I started to take a few small steps toward him.

Mark: Don't. Just don't.

And so I stopped. I stopped everything. I would do anything he wanted just to see him stop crying. Anything. Watching him in tears burned my heart. After whispering one last sorry to him, I left. I went back into the house and straight to my room. I plumped on the bed and muffled profanities amd curses for being such a bad friend. And that was when I figured that our friendship will never be the same ever again.

We won't be able to laugh or smile like we did when we were younger. We won't be able to look at each other without being awkward. We won't be able to tell each other our troubles and problems without thinking about what happened a few minutes ago.

I continuously hit my head with my pillow amd grumbled in frustration. This lasted for a few minutes until an angry Jackson barged into my personal frustrating moment. He slammed the door and glared at me with those eyes that seemed to be on fire. I didn't even bother to sit up and looked at him properly.

Jade: What d'ya want?

That came out as a muffle since my face was still in the pillow. However, my 'comfort' didn't last long as he threw all of my pillows and my one and only blanket to the floor. I groaned in frustration and glare at him while he returned the glare too.

Jackson: What happened just now? When you came back in and went straight to your room, Mark only came in 10 minutes later with a straight face and ignored everyone so he went back home. What really happened out there?

I sighed and sat up on my bed, leaning against the bed frame. I just stared at the window thinking back to what happened in the backyard. I've never expected him to feel that way since I've given up on my feelings for him. I was tired from everything. Not that there was much but that alone made my mind dizzy.

Jade: He confessed to me and I rejected him. End of story.

Then, I plopped back down and closed my eyes. The look on Mark's face popped up in my mind. Right then, I mentally slapped myself of having a thought. The stupidest thought I could've thought of. The thought, or rather question, that messed everything up. But the thought screamed in my mind, saying...

Do I still love him?