Long Time No See

The Call

"I had a dream about you"
I sighed as I laid on my back in the bed  looking at all the stuff I had packed up.

"Well about us rather..." he sounded wide awake even though it was early and I was annoyed. Xavier and I had been going through this all four years of college and now we are on opposite sides of the country and he  wants talk?

"Can we talk about us? Please Mari."
I detached the phone from my ear and looked at my screen to remember who I was talking to. Talk... about us? It's 4 in the morning on the here on the East coast which means it is a reasonable time on the West. Nevertheless I had movers coming at 8 am and a long ass Day ahead. When Xavier got drafted to the NFL straight out of college he did what most do. X got sucked right in to the life. It didn't take long for him to forgot all about the people that held him down including me.

"What do you mean? Have you lost your mind?" I asked sleepily trying not to put too much energy into the conversation. It was only going to end in disappointment. They usually do.

He took a deep breath to speak but before he could I did.

"Wait, do you know what time it is?"
I couldn't afford to be off schedule. I was moving from Atlanta back to Huston to be closer to my family. Unlike Xavier, I did what normal graduates do, find a job and start a life.

"I... Amari I...Need you in more ways than one." I had every right to hang up on him. Need me? I have been working my ass off in Atlanta to provide for me and my family as a consultant at Douglass, Graham, & Associates while he has been turning up all over the world. I finally was able to transfer to the Huston office and get out of all of the Atlanta mess which was nothing short of a blessing.

"You didn't need me when your little "girlfriend" was all over social media playing games and disrespecting me did you?"

I said now above a whisper. This was a subject that made us both upset but "You wanna talk? Let's talk.

Your bitch was all on her socials doing the most" I said almost shaking. I don't know if he just called to push my buttons or if this was a real conversation. I could never tell with him. He has tried buying me the world in order to bypass all of the problems have.

"Why she gotta be all that?" He said chuckling I could hear the smile spread across his face. Right then and there I decided to stop giving him the satisfaction. With a deep breath and a change in tone I got myself together.
"The same reason I had be all the things she called me. I don't mean anything to her and vise versa. Apparently I didn't mean anything to you either..."
"What makes you say that?" He said.
"If you gave a fuck about me why would you let her come for me like that. I don't care if we don't speak I would never let any disrespect you... you should have shut it down. On top of that you didn't even touch the field before you switch up on me."

I said what I had to say. Waiting for his glorious come back. For a second, my mind went back to all the days I went back and forth with not only this girl but every other groupie that went deep enough in his phone to find an old text thread. Since I never gave him the title of a "boyfriend" he took it upon himself to give his time to some one who would. Not a problem. I wasn't ready to be locked down in college and I'm not ready now but he has this effect on me that no one else could come close to. But when the disrespect started I refused to be treated like a disposable random. Soon after, I realized I was done. I walked past him like I had never seen him before every day after that. After graduation he decided that he wanted be friends and I decided that I had bigger responsibilities so that was for the best. It was clear that it wouldn't work, our conversations were anything but friendly which lead me to believe that he was on joke time.

"Hello" I said rolling my eyes. He fell silent.

"They weren't you"

"Here we go..." I just shook my head.
"They were just place holders. You hurt me in college I didn't just wanna hang around I felt like you were playing with my emotions. I see myself marrying you I just had the keep myself busy. I think about you all day every day and you not speaking to me anymore is the worst pain I have ever felt. You with someone?"
Bingo! That's the line I was waiting for. That's how the majority of our conversations started. "You got a boyfriend yet?" Or "You not letting anyone get none of what's mine are you?" In the same arrogant ass tone.
Truth be told it was his, at least I wanted it to be.

"Is that why you called me? To ask me who I'm with if anyone?" I questioned see why I think he is up to no good?

"That's none of your business I don't ask you about who you with or what bimbo bitch your fucking..."

"I just wanna be your first and your
last." He cut me off.
"Nigga what!? Bottom line is you have your girlfriend to worry about your on the phone with me for all of 45 minutes and this is what you get in to?"

The sun was rising we had spent more time on the phone in silence than actually speaking. It was no point in going back to sleep. This was my last day in my apartment and I wanted to enjoy a little bit. Shortly after I would be going home to Huston and I would be a memory to him.
"Bye" I said almost silently.
"Will I see you?" He asked

"See your girlfriend"

"We are done. It's over. I broke up with her right before I called you." He was talking so fast I could barely understand him.

"Yeah right. How convenient."

"Nah for real" he said trying to convince me.
"I don't know maybe."

"Amari at least let me see my son."

"Your son? You know I have never kept him from you but I refuse for you to have him around just anyone. He is a baby ok? Not pussy bait or a way for you portray yourself as daddy of the year. Don't make it seem like you made an effort to fly in to see him either. You know good and damn well he isn't a priority for you so don't call me acting like super daddy because some bitch hurt your feelings."

"I send you a check." He got loud with me.
"If I was grimy I could have told a blog that the second round pick treats his son like a second class citizen and ruined you. Or I could be completely living off of you instead of saving my sons money for my son but it doesn't matter. I work hard for everything my son an I have. Xavier I could make life hell for you because that I make more money than that $2000 you send a month as a consultant. Baby I use my degrees and I use them well!" I said I was going to be good and I meant it.

"I fucking loved you Amari." He said now really angry.

"X no you didn't. Not the way I thought you did anyway."

I have been called every form of stupid and crazy for not collecting what other mothers do but he will not run my life. I hung up and started my last day in Atlanta.