Long Time No See

Forward not Back

Eric
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"I love you baby." I just told Gia that she won't be able to go to LA with me an she definitely had an attitude. She handed the phone to my father immediately.

"She is mad at you." He said

"Really dad?" I asked him as I sat in my home. I held the phone to my ear after putting Aden back to bed. Time had passed since Amari and I had our initial reaction and I wasn't sure If I was going to  sleep in my bed with her or on the couch. I wanted to snap back in to being the couple we were three days ago but I didn't think she deserved it. I wanted to continue being cold to her even though it broke me down to do so.

"I had to call Amari. You wouldn't have told me so when I found out I just called to congratulate you all. I knew you wouldn't answer so I found her number. When I did she told me that you hated her. Then I said no not my son. He wouldn't say no shit like that. Not to a female. We had a three hour conversation this morning." He said with no remorse.

"You made her change her mind? I didn't want to force her to do anything." Females are put in situations where a man tells them what to do with their body everyday. I wanted her to want to have my baby not be forced.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"She had an abortion scheduled and didn't go through with it." I told him. He fell silent.

"She never told me she was thinking about getting rid of the baby. She said that she was afraid... Is that why she thinks you hate her? It didn't make sense when she said it." My father's tone changed letting me know that he really was unaware.

"Yeah dad"

"I didn't force her in to anything we just talked. About her brothers and her mom and even baby names but never an... an abortion." I stood in the dark, letting the light of the city do all the work.

"Out of three hours she never..." I stopped trying to figure out how he didn't catch on to what she wanted. Then again I didn't.

"Never. I may be a little sick but my mind is still there. The conversation would have been a lot different." He assured me. Maybe he did change her mind just through regular conversation.

"I don't know what to do pop."

"If you love the girl then love her. She could have gotten scared and almost made a hasty decision but she didn't." He said trying to clean up the mess.

"How can I go back to what we had after that? She looked me in my eye and told me she wanted an abortion. He created that out of love." I said.

"You can't go back you move forward." That was what I needed to hear. Our relationship will never be the same and trying to make it the same wouldn't help.

"It will be hard but don't make it harder." He said before realizing how late it was.

"Maybe we should call it quits. People make coparenting work all the time." I said.

"Son that's not what you want. If she would have went through with it then I could understand wanting to be with her. She is a young girl and has every right to be afraid to have a baby by the man who owns the campus he works for." He said making me roll my eyes.

"That doesn't matter to me. O know it matters to her but..."

"Don't make that girl fell like shit. If you love her then love her. If you won't me able to get to a better place then figure out why. Regardless be a man and communicate." He ended the conversation but I was still conflicted. I was drained and I refused to sleep on the couch. With the meeting I had tomorrow afternoon I wanted to actually close my eyes.