Long Time No See

Belong 

"What are you staring at?" He asked. I knew it wouldn't be long before he realized I was watching him. He moved around so comfortably and I was in awe.

"I just don't get it." I shrugged my shoulders as I got ready to put Aden down. He was clearly ready for bed and didn't even want to fight his sleep after his bath.

"Girl I already told you my jerk sauce is to two and it ain't two. Trust me." He said playfully. I watched him set the oven as I cracked a smile. Eric was so happy, if you asked him nothing was going in between us that would make him feel any other way. Things still didn't sit right on my end.

"I don't get how you have that big grand gourmet kitchen in that lovely penthouse and you want to be here in my lil spot." I laid Aden on my chest, swaying him back and forth. Holding him was more for my benefit than his, especially because he was only going to be the small once.

Don't get me wrong, I love my place, it's in a great neighborhood, The complex is always clean with a host of amenities, and my sister basically wants to join. Plus, it's my home but it isn't the 29th floor of The Bellhaven Towers.

"It's empty there..." He paused. He washed his hands after sliding the salmon in the oven and closing it. I stood closer to Aden's room, in the middle of the hallway as we spoke.

"Im mean when Gia is with me and you come over it's better but it's cold otherwise . Like it's great but lonely as hell when you aren't in it." I rolled my eyes knowing he was being honest. He stepped to the other side of the counter, still leaving a considerable amount of space.

"Aden is young and I know it's hard getting kids adjusted to different spaces and shit... I dont want to inconvenience you and fuck up his schedule so I come here. Even when you're pissed at me." He took his phone out of his pocket to set a timer for the fish before finishing his sentence.

"Mmhmm." I said back. I didn't not want know what he was going to say but that's wasn't even close.

"That answer your question?" He ended up scrolling through the phone for a little purer to breaking the ice again.

"I can't stand you." Just like that nothing matter. Eric had made my heart melt with his explanation.

"Huh?" He asked slamming his phone down and closing the awkward gap  between us.

"I'm supposed to have a little attitude and you say shit like that's and I..."

"I just answered your question. That's the truth. Fuck your attitude Mari" He peeled Aden off my chest and took him to his room. He came back with the monitor since he shut the door, turning it in as he brushed past me.

"It's hard as fuck to go from sleeping with you in my arms to that big ass bed by myself..." I followed him to the kitchen, posting up just out side of it.

"Frankly, I don't care anything about you not fucking with me for the moment. I'm going to make it up to you. Not sponsor your little brothers team or no flashy bullshit like that." I folded my arms and listened to him get this off of his chest.

"I didn't say anything about the gala."

"But there is a problem. You haven't let me touch you since you got back from Dallas. Then, you have been a little stand off ish towards me, and rightfully so..." He  walked back in to the kitchen to continue preparing dinner.

"No dates or anything." He cut up some toppings for a mixed greens salad.

"So you want to touch me? You want to touch me but not talk to me?"  I asked obviously striking a cord with him.

"I want my baby back man. We know what the problem is but you have to tell me how to fix if." He sat the knife down. Eric washed after dried his hands while preparing the ready of the meal.

"It... I didn't think I would have to deal with anything like that with you. It can't help but dwell in it even if I don't want to." He was honest with me. It may have taken him a while to give me the information that I wanted but he was honest and I should be able to move on. Right?

"Talk to me. How can I fix it." This man was in my kitchen, still putting my kid to bed, and preparing a full meal. Even with the other stuff I had had anyone put this much effort in to me. Maybe I can be honest too.

"You experience people, you don't own them and I think input to much emphasis on belonging to you. Even if I feel like every part of me is yours I felt like it didn't matter after that night. My heart, my mind, and especially my body seemed like it didn't mean shit to you. Brought up a lot of shit that I thought was over." Im not sure about other people but when I'm asked "who's is it?" I'm honest with the answer. I mean every I love you and I miss you and it felt like he spit in my face to prove a point.

"I say that because I never had to be anyone besides myself with you and everything felt natural until it wasn't. I need it to be natural again Eric." I broke. I broke in to tiny pieces explain myself. He was obviously taken by surprise at the way that he stood silently for a little bit. He was in my side after noticing my tears scooping me up in to bear hug.

"I want it to be natural again." My voice and body shook as I tried to get the words out.

"I don't want to fight and argue. I don't want to you fucking anyone else. I don't want..."

"I hear you. I see you. I love you." He said simply. Eric presses me further in to his chest as I let the tears out.

"Please don't cry, I can't handle that."

"I'm not crying for my health I'm crying because I'm fucking hurt. I played a part in it, I didn't have to block you I said you out even if I felt like it was gonna be temporary but you didn't have to fuck her." I yelled unintentionally.

"I can't apologize enough. You are right I didn't have to and I never want you to feel like your heart doesn't mean anything to me. I was stupid if me to work that hard to get it just to throw it all away. We worked hard to get here."  He continued to hold me.