Cry, my beloved people

To forgive Part 45

Tersia made a tasty breakfast, but Louise ate only half of her usual helpings.

"Here," Tersia said and offered her a multivitamin and a glass of water.  "Let us stop that flue in its tracks."

She gulped it down".  It is good that Tersia thinks it is a flue.  I will spend the morning tidying my room and I have to do some gardening with Gregory, it won't be fair to let him suffer.  Next Saturday is his fifth birthday, maybe I should take him to the farm to visit his other grandma and grandpa, then he can spend some time with his cousins too.

Her mom was so excited when she told her about her plans for the weekend.  "Tell Gregory his grandpa is jumping up and down, saying that he has a special surprise for him."

Tersia decided to use the weekend to visit her son, Jimmy, he was happy to pick her up on Friday afternoon.

Her parents were so glad to see them, she felt ashamed for not visiting them more often.  Her dad lifted Gregory into a big hug while turning him in a full circle: "You know what young man, we are going fishing today, here is your birthday present."  He shoved a brand new fishing rod into Gregory's hands.  He made another few dances with Gregory in his arms and then put him down to show his new fishing rod to his mom.

Gregory was so happy, she gave him a big hug and a few minutes later they took off to the dam to do their "men" thing.

Her mom smiled at her: "Your dad was so happy when he learned about your visit and decided that Gregory was old enough to be taught the skills of  good fishermen."

"I could see he was in his element, I am so glad, I missed you guys so much," and she gave her mom another hug.

"Now tell me, why are you so pale and you look so tired," her mom asked, raising her one eyebrow.

Louise shuddered: "Mom, I did something really bad that I can't talk about, but it's eating me up from inside," she said with a really sad face.

"We all do some really bad stuff at one stage or another in our lives, it has to happen, in order for us to learn, God forgives us a lot, but it all starts with a prayer.  In time He will give you the courage to forgive yourself, but you have to pray for that."

"I thought it was too bad to pray about."

"Don't be too hard on yourself, you need to be there for Gregory and maybe there might be others, crossing your way that you can give advice to.  Don't underestimate the Lord and His willingness to forgive."

"I will try," she said, wiping the tears that were running freely over her cheeks.  It was her mom's advice that broke the wall that kept her tears inside.

Her mom gave her a hug.

"Thank you, mom."

"You're welcome, my darling, I love you and Gregory so much, but you know it."

She could only nod as the tears were welling up again.  The thought of depriving them of another grandchild flashed through her head as she left for the bathroom to clean her face before her brother arrived with his family.