paper planes. || j.jk

epilogue

the upsetting weather made me think twice that i shouldn't be here. drops of water soaked my feet and i curled up my toes instantly. i thank the sky for crying with me. at least i didn't feel alone. i watched three human beings scattering away in need of a shelter. an involuntarily smile form across my lips as i reminisced the memory i had of him.

"we don't have much to recall about but every moment, i had it well-kept in the safest place within my heart. i hope you're doing fine up there and is constantly watching me that's below

i grow tired of wishing and wishing that you'd come back. and pour out your emotions that you really do like me just so that i'm convinced what we had were true. i want to believe so bad it was real. that i turned selfish. i kept cursing and when i'm down, i get mad with god for gifting us with only limited amount of time with each other. because i really think this little time hurt me more than i could've ever imagined.

i was once mad at you, for telling me you love me. because of that i'm still holding on to you. but in case you didn't know i am still mad at god, because he wouldn't even let me see you in my dreams. now, i wished that even though your presence no longer walk this earth, i'd be more than thankful to see you again in my dreams. but it never happen.

i have a lot of things to tell you. how my hair grew longer. how i grew an inch taller. and more. but the most part of all, i quit smoking. i hope you know i didn't turn a wreck when you leave because your mum told me you wouldn't like it. so i didn't. just like how you told me before you didn't like me smoking. and i did stop. all thanks to you."

because of my uncontrollable emotions and deranged anger management, i have to constantly tell myself that i'll be okay even without him by my side. i don't want to stay mad at him. and in order to do so, i like to remind myself that i, was lucky enough to have had time with him at all.

- author's note ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚♡ ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ♡˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

( hello!!!! ive recently published a new kth fanfic called ambience of blue! please check it out bc i poured out my entire heart and soul for the book and it hasnt gotten much attention :"") i personally loved the book bc it showed just how much my style of writing had transition over the years. paper planes was written years ago which explains it's lack of depth and the limited vocabulary in it 😂 so yea i do hope anyone who comes across this could give ambience of blue a little love. i'd really appreciate it so much. thank you 🌻 )