Change (punk h.s.)

Chapter 14

HARRY'S POV

"I can walk myself", Sydney giggles but I just ignore her. I am not going to let her walk alone. She could just run away, like Steph did.

Stop thinking about Steph I thought you were over her.

"Who is Steph?", Sydney asks, like she was reading my thoughts. "You've called me Steph few times. Who is she?", she asks while looking me in the eyes, her pupils are dilated, I can barely see her iris. 

"She was this one girl that I once dated", I begin. Why am I opening up to her? "She, she was something special"'

***

I carefully layed Sydney on her bed and sigh. "So, you wanted to know about Steph...", I say and sit down to the edge of her bed. She nods and yawns.

"She was my girlfriend, like I already told you. We dated for a couple of months, about five I think. It took a lot of courage to ask her out. Every guy was all over her", I chuckle but the smile fades as I continue "I still can't believe she picked me out of all the other guys. She was working where you work now, everytime she walked into a room every head in the room was turned to her direction. She was this girl every guy dreamed of. She was funny, sexy, smart and all that but there was one flaw", I swallow and look down at my hands.

"What was it?", Sydney asks, sits up and puts her hand on my thigh. 

"Well this one time, I-I took her to this small hill for a picninc. We were watching the stars, cuddling under the night sky", I say, shaking my head "I watched her as she was amazed by the stars and then I said it. I said I loved her", he say and she gasps silently.

"Oh my God", she whisper, I nod and turn to look at her. Her pupils are still dilated. I'm not even sure if she will remember this conversation tomorrow morning. She starts moving her hand up, torwards my crotch but I move her hand away. I decide to ignore it, since she is high at the moment.

"The worst thing was, she didn't say it back. She just shrugged and said "okay", who the fuck says that after someone confesses their love for you?", I let out a dry laugh "I was so stupid to think she would have actually loved me back. That was the first time I actually yelled at anyone. I yelled at her, I was so mad. She just laughed and told me she doesn't believe in love and just walked away. I was so mad I started to throw the picnic stuff around and I yelled and yelled - more like screamed", I say as and exhale heavily before I continue "She moved to France a week after what happened. She just left, she left me"

"Harry I'm so sorry", she says and puts her hand over my shoulder. 

"Do you know-", I clear my throat "Do you know what it feels like being in love?", I ask her but she doesn't answer. I wait for her answer and turn my head to see her being deep in thought.

I wait and wait and wait. I get no answer I open my mouth to ask again but she quickly answers me.

"No", she says and shakes her head. 

"Oh, well it's when you feel like you could do anything for the person you love the most. Everytime you see them suddenly all the bad things in the world fade, you can't stop being happy when you're around them", I explain, she nods and starts stroking my back.

"I can't believe I just opened up to you", I mumble - mostly to myself - and I get up from her bed.

"It's alright Harry. I understand-", she starts but I interrupt her.