Change (punk h.s.)

Chapter 38

I'm tired, exhausted but I can't sleep. I want to, though. I just want to sleep then wake up to realize it was all just a dream.

Here I am, sitting on a chair in the corner of a hospital room. Harry lying unconcsious on the bed. I would be lying if I said I'm not blaming myself for this. If I hadn't overreacted, hadn't wandered around the town, he wouldn't have almost ran over me and he wouldn't have been in a car accident.

I called Anne, she was here a while back. I was crying, she tried to keep calm  for my sake. She had this worried look in her eyes, very worried. Tears were forming in her eyes, she hugged me, petting my hair softly. She told me everything was going to be okay. We came inside this room, she rushed over the bed, brushing her son's hair away from his forehead, she caressed his cheek. "My little baby", tears started to form in her eyes. "It's going to be okay", she whispered, I saw tears slip away from her eyes, landing on Harry's cheek. She wiped them off immediately. She then stood up, walking over to me. She asked if I was going to be okay and I nodded my head but I lied. I was not going to be okay. I blamed myself, I still do. 

Anne left a couple hours ago, maybe four. I haven't left this room since. I've been here, staring at Harry, waiting for him to wake up. I'm worried, what if the accident was bad? What if he's in a coma. 

I hear the door opening, I turn my head in the direction of the door to see a doctor walk in. She smiles politely, closing the door behind her. "I've got some results", she says. I look down, fiddling my thumbs on my lap. I wait for her to continue. "He has few broken bones", I frown, I hope there's some good news too. "but the good news is, he should wake up in a couple of hours.", the doctor says, I lift my head up and I feel tears slip down my cheeks. They're relieved tears. I stand up and thank the doctor. She nods and leaves the room, leaving me and Harry alone again. I move a chair next to the bed, sitting down. I take his hands in mine and examine his beautiful but destructed face. He has red marks, scars and bruises. He still manages to look beautiful. How does he do that?

I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and I take it out. I got a text from Niall. *Wanna hang out?* It says. I don't text him back, I just keep my focus steady on Harry. If only I wouldn't have stormed out, hadn't overreacted... It's my fault. I know it is.

Suddenly I feel something twitch in my hands. I feel my eyes widen as I look down, Harry has taken a hold of my hand, his big palm fitting perfectly with my small one. I look back at his face, he's still asleep. I feel relieved though, at least nothing bad happened. 

It must be a miracle. You can't possibly survive a car accident that bad, or maybe it just seemed worse to me than it actually was. He can't walk yet though, he might have to stay in the hospital. I don't know yet. I guess I have to wait until he wakes up.

I hear someone knock on the door, it's Anne, she sends me a sad smile and walks over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. "How is he doing?", she asks. I tell her what the doctor told me, she let's out a deep sigh. She then asks how I'm doing. I tell her that I'm better. I still feel guilty.

"Stop blaming yourself, dear.", Anne says like she is reading my thoughts. "It was not your fault", she says and I feel the tears forming in my eyes again. No matter how many times I am told that it was not my fault, I'll still think it was. 

I feel him moving his hand again. Anne seems to notice as well. I lift my head to look at her to see her smiling, she then places her hand on my shoulder, patting in comfortably. I then hear Harry mumble something, I turn my head to look at him. He's still deep in sleep. He mutters something under his breath. I lean in, trying to hear what he's saying. "Sydney", I hear him whisper. 

"What? Harry, what is it?", I ask. I sound frantic, I'm just so happy he's actually speaking, even if it is in his sleep.

He then mutters some words that takes me completely off guard. I lean back in my chair, shocked. I turn my head to look at Anne who is smiling widely, me on the other hand, I must look like I'm panicking.