Change (punk h.s.)

Chapter 20

Hey guys, so I am aware that some parts of this story seem to be quite rushed (if that makes any sense). It is basically that way because sometimes I feel like I HAVE to write something when I don't feel like doing so. When I am not in the mood for writing, I still write because I had promised you guys I will update every weekend. That is why my writing has been this way. I am sorry for that, hope I am not ruining this story completely. YIKES. I am still trying to update every weekend, but I am sorry if I don't write the chapter in time to publish it. AND I AM SO SORRY FOR THESE LONG A/N THAT I BASICALLY HAVE BEFORE EVERY GODDAMN CHAPTER.

AND thank you sooooo much for 3K reads! This story is so close to 100 votes and comments too. I love you all very much xx

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SYDNEY'S POV

Our lips move in sync as I climb on his lap, he falls backwards so his back is against the mattress, me on top of him in all fours. His hand is roaming up and down my side, my hands running through his hair. His lips feel so soft against my own. I hear his breathing quickening and mine doing the same. My heart is pounding so fast I think I might explode.

Suddenly Harry flips us around so he is on top of me, my back against the mattress. He starts kissing down my neck.

Out of nowhere, I start to realise what we are doing.

How did this happen? I don't know. I didn't think this through. What on earth am I doing? And why did he start kissing me as well? Why didn't he stop me? I open my eyes asI pull away, pushing him off of me.

"W-what just-", Harry starts but I cut him off.

"No, just drop it", I say with a shaky voice.

"Shouldn't we talk about this?"

"I said drop it", I yell at him. I don't know why I just did that. That is so unlike me.

"Where are you going?", Harry yells from behind me. I didn't even have the time to notice I was walking away.

I can't breathe.

I run out of the door of the apartment, down the stairs to outside. The cold air hits me and the wind blows my hair to my face. I move my hair behind my ears, sitting on the ground, leaning my back against the wall. I cover my face with my hands, resting my forehead on my knees. Why did I do that?

"Sydney what the fuck?", Harry yells as I stand up. Whenever he yells, his voice always makes me jump. "You can't just run away like that!'

"Can we just forget this ever happened?", I ask with a calm voice and for a second I think I see just a hint of disappointment in his face, but soon it turns back into a frown.

"Why?", he asks. Why? He has got to be kidding me.

"Because it was a mistake. There is no emotional bond between us we shouldn't do this", I explain as I wave my hand back and forth between the two of us.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever", he mumbles as he walks away, not towards the door of the building but towards the street. I shake my head and walk back inside, he left the apartment door open. Seems like he run pretty fast behind me.

This thing between us is giving me a headache. What is going on with me? Why did I kiss him out of the blue? Why didn't he stop me?

The first two times when we almost kissed, he was the one making the move. The first time he was drunk, the second time he wasn't but I was cleaning his wounds, touching his soft skin...

Focus Sydney!

But both times, I pushed him away. This time I was the one who started it. I didn't even give him time to decline! I just threw myself at him.