**Michaels P.O.V **
Michael: I looked toward the passenger seat, taking my eyes off of the road for only a second to see your beautiful smile, but a second was all it took. The semi-truck swerved, hitting us head on.
I don’t remember much else. I remember lights and sirens and being shuffled from a stretcher to an ambulance to a hospital all in a haze. “Y/n!” I yelled the whole time, “Where is she?!” I woke up in a white room to see a doctor and my band mates crowded around me. I sat up groggily, feeling a pain in my side, a pounding in my head, and a clenching of my stomach.
“How’re you feeling?” A doctor asked me gently. “Where’s Y/n?” I asked immediately. No answer came and I began to fear the worst. “What? Where is she?” I repeated, looking from Calum to Luke to Ashton to the doctor in the hopes of receiving an answer. “Michael,” Ashton sighed, “Y/n, um, she didn’t -” He broke off, looking to Luke for help.“It wasn’t your fault,” Luke said. “Wh-where-?” I began, although I was unable to finish. I felt like I would throw up if I attempted to speak.
I needed them to say it or I wouldn’t believe it. It couldn’t be true. “Michael, she didn’t make it,” Calum whispered. “No,” I responded immediately, shaking my head. “She’s not - she isn’t -” I gave up, feeling faint. I looked toward the doctor, waiting for him to tell me this was some kind of prank. “She was dead on arrival,” he informed me, “I’ll give you some time before his check up,” he said to my friends before exiting.
I sat in silence, too shocked to pick an emotion. My head swirled with confusing thoughts and my heart seemed to stop entirely. It would be easier if it really did stop. It was my fault. She was dead because of me. “It’s my fault,” I managed to choke out as hot tears stung my eyes.
“No it’s not,” Luke assured me, “It was the guy in the other truck that crashed into you Michael.” I shook my head.
“She wanted to stay home,” I said weakly, “But I had a date planned.” My body felt numb, the physical pain completely forgotten in comparison to the emotional pain that was far worse. “I was - I was gonna propose,” I said, my lip trembling as the tears threatened to spill.
“I -” I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut as tears poured out. “She wanted to stay home,” I repeated angrily. “Why didn’t I just stay home?” I asked myself. “I could’ve proposed at home.”
I felt my throat closing up and my stomach clench as these thoughts poured out of my mouth. “We could be home right now,” I muttered in disbelief.
“Michael, it wasn’t your fault,” Luke repeated. “YES IT WAS!” I shouted, angry that he was so convinced I wasn’t to blame. “Michael, stop,” Ashton commanded, pushing me back into bed.
“Leave me alone!” I snapped, pushing Ashton off of me. Startled, they make their way to the door, leaving me with my own thoughts. It was my fault.
