Song - Adele Make You Feel my Love
The next morning after a very restless sleep I woke up to Liam lay staring at me, he smiled "Hey, why are you staring at me?" I smiled, the guilt rising in my chest, Liam leaned into me, "I can't believe how lucky I am to have you" he answered, "Don't say that, I'm the lucky one believe me" I brushed my finger over his cheek, he pulled me to him, "I've been thinking why don't we go away for a few days before the tour starts" he asked, I sat upright in bed, "I can't I'm just to busy, you know that plus you have rehearsals and stuff" my mind was racing I couldn't go away now, I couldn't bear not seeing Harry, "Yeah but I'm sure I can sort a couple of days out and I'm sure if you ask Lou she wouldn't mind, she would understand" he replied, "No Liam, I'm just too busy right now" I snapped, I looked at his hurt expression, I felt like shit now, Liam moved away from me and got out of bed, "What's wrong with you lately?" He said storming off to the bathroom
I lay looking up at the ceiling and pulled the duvet up to my chin, the guilt is eating away at me bit by bit, I had to stop this now, I can't hurt Liam it's just not fair, he doesn't deserve this. I needed to end it with Harry and concentrate on Liam and our relationship it was the only way because I knew Harry & I could never be together.
I got out of bed and pulled on some sweats & tshirt, Liam was in the shower, I walked into the living room, Harry must still be asleep I needed to talk to him desperately, I entered the kitchen and flicked the kettle on I needed coffee, I then saw a note on the table, it was off Harry saying thank you for bed for the night, I flopped down on a chair staring at the note, I needed to see him, I went and got my phone to text him, as I started to text Liam appeared, "I'm sorry Lil" he said leaning against the door frame, I put my phone down and walked over to him, "It's ok, I know I've been distant and I'm sorry, things are going to change I promise" I leaned up to kiss him, "I'm scared that I'm not enough for you" Liam said, I stepped back, "What? Course you are enough for me, I love you! I'm just so busy with work you know that, listen organise that couple of days away and I'll speak to Lou" Liam gave the biggest smile, "Really?" "Yes sort it and I'll be there" we kissed again my hands up his shirt, even now my mind was wondering to Harry, how his body felt, how he smelt it was ruining my life
I told Liam Harry had left and about the note, Liam had to go out now anyway he had a meeting about something or another, I missed what he said as I was thinking about what I was going to say to Harry, when I was sure Liam had definitely left I pressed Harry's number on my phone, he answered more or less straight away, "Can you talk?" I asked, "Always for you" he laughed, "I need to see you" my face was burning now, his voice even turned me on, "Ok well come to my house, Mel has gone now thank god" "Right I'll be there soon" I replied
I stood in the shower the water running over me, thinking about how I was going to end it, the thing is I knew I couldn't I needed him, he was like my own personal drug, he made me high, just from feeling his presence, his voice, his body, his whole being, I felt the tears rolling down my face, it wasn't Harry I had to leave it was Liam and I knew it.
When I got out of the shower I called Lou and asked her if I could go and stay with her, she agreed, she didn't ask why but she knew why. I text Harry and told him something had come up and I'd call him later, I needed to pack and wait for Liam to come back,I sat staring out of window in complete silence when I heard the door open, I stood up and stared at Liam as he walked into the room smiling.
I just stared with no expression on my face, his face dropped, he knew I could tell, "Don't say it Lily" his eyes filling with tears, "Liam I'm sorry, it's just not working" "But this morning you said you loved me and I've sorted out some time off" one lonely tear escaped from his eye I watched it roll down his cheek, "I'm sorry more than you will ever know" my tears were now flowing, "But I love you" Liam said, "And I love you but you were right this morning it's just not enough" I walked towards him and he stepped back from me, his chest heaving trying to hold back the sobs building up in him, it was killing me seeing him so upset but I had no choice I had to do this, I had to be with Harry and let Liam move on to someone who deserved his love.
I walked to the bedroom and picked my packed bags up, Liam was still stood in the same place when I walked back out, "Please Lily, I'll do anything to make this right, just tell me what to do" he begged through his sobs, "I can't Liam, I just can't, please forgive me, I have to go, I'll be back for the rest of my stuff" I turned and opened the door and walked straight out, as the door shut I leant back onto it, I heard him sobbing, my heartbeat breaking for him, I knew I should turn back and go to him but I couldn't, he deserved better than me.
I threw my bags into the boot of my car and sat in the drivers seat and banged my head on the steering wheel, was this the hard bit I wondered? I didn't expect to feel like this, I felt like my heart had been twisted and stamped on but I wanted to be with someone else so badly, I cried the whole journey to Lou's, when I arrived she was stood at the door waiting for me, I sobbed in her arms, "Oh Lily, it will all be ok" Lou said stroking my hair and led me inside.
I needed to speak to Harry so badly now!!!
