Song - One Republic - Stop & Stare
On the drive to hospital I sat staring out of window, Harry kept on asking me if I was ok, I just kept on nodding, all I could think about was Liam, how I had a man breakdown due to my betrayal. I never intended any of this to happen, we didn't plan it, I had pushed him to his limit.
The nurse at hospital cleaned up my head and just put small butterfly strips on it, it wasn't serious but my head was banging I just wanted to lie down, Harry was so quiet, his phone had been constantly ringing, he just ignored it and he eventually turned it off. In the car on the way home we finally spoke about what had happened, "How did he know all this time?" Harry asked, "I just don't know, I can't believe he lived with me knowing all that he knew" I bowed my head as I could feel tears welling up once again, "I need to go and see him Lily" Harry looked at me, I lifted my head up, "What? No you can't, leave him to calm down Harry please" I begged, "Lily my betrayal is worse than yours, you know that, he trusted me and I've ruined everything" I heard Harry's voice now wavering
We arrived at Harry's house and went inside, I went straight upstairs and fell onto the bed, I heard Harry talking downstairs obviously on his phone, I just wanted to go to sleep, I heard the door open and a body sit down on the bed, his hand stroked my head, it wasn't totally dark I just made out the figure sat there, "I just need to go to sleep Harry" just then Harry shouted up that he had to go out, my heart was beating out of my chest as the figure grabbed me and Liam's voice said "Don't scream just say ok" I sat upright now, it was like a light had been turned on in the room, "Say it" Liam whispered to me, "Yeah ok Harry" I heard the door close and his car leave.
I sat up on the bed with my knees to my chest, "So is this your bedroom with him?" Liam asked, I didn't answer, "Is it?" He shouted, "Yes, yes it is" I answered, "I wonder how many times you have fucked him on this bed? He laughed, "Infact I wonder how many women he's fucked on this bed" he carried on, my head was banging, my chest was right, I knew my phone was on the table next to me, "Liam what are you doing here? I asked, "I don't know really" he sat down next to me again, I could smell the stale smell of alcohol again, "Is he better than me?" "No" I replied, "Why are you lying, course he's better than me or else you wouldn't be here" he laughed to himself once again, I could see the phone out of the corner of my eye, If I could just get hold of it.
Suddenly Liam jumped on top of me, I screamed out, "What are you doing?" I screamed, he just laughed as he pinned my hands down onto the bed, his lips now finding my neck, where he was kissing me, I tried to thrash about but he was just to strong for me, "Liam please stop" "I bet you don't say that to Harry do you? I bet it's fuck me Harry" he hissed in a high pitched voice in my ear, my chest was so right I couldn't breathe properly now, my sobs were loud round the room.
One hand was now tugging at my jeans to pull them down, "Stop, stop, please" I begged, Liam just ignored me, the next thing I knew he had parted my legs and I could feel how hard he was, I just lay there stiff, suddenly the door flung open and I heard Harry "Get the fuck off her" as he dragged Liam off the top of me,
Harry now had Liam up against the wall with arm over his neck, Liam was just laughing, I couldn't move as I felt someone lift me up, it was Lou, "Harry mate, I was just having a last go, you know how it is" Liam laughed and then started to cry as he slumped to the floor, Harry stood looking at him, "Lily come with me" Lou said gently, "No, I'm fine" I shrugged her off as I pulled my jeans up and got up and knelt down next to Liam who's body was wracked with loud sobs, "Lily what are you doing? He's just nearly raped you" Harry shouted, "CAN YOU NOT SEE WHAT WE HAVE DONE? I screamed at Harry, he stepped back, "WE HAVE DONE THIS TO HIM" I knelt back down and put my arms round this wreck of a man, he looked like a lost little boy, he looked up at me, "I'm so sorry Lily" Liam whispered, "No I'm sorry Liam, more than you will ever know" his arms wrapped round me now, "This is fucking bullshit" Harry shouted and stormed out of the room, Lou pulled me up, "Let me sort Liam out, I've called Niall he's coming over to take Liam home with him, go and see Harry Lil" she said.
I went downstairs to see Harry sitting down with his head in his hands, I sat down next to him, I reached out to touch him,"Harry" "Just don't Lily please" he shrugged his body away from me, I knew then it was over, "I love you Harry" he didn't say anything. We just sat there in silence which felt like forever, I heard Niall come and take Liam.
When I knew Liam had gone I went upstairs and grabbed my bags to pack, Lou stood staring "What are you doing?" She asked, "I'm going Lou, I don't know where but it's over, it's all over, we can never come back from this, me, Liam or even Harry, it's never going to be right while I'm here" "Don't be stupid, course it can, it will take time" Lou replied, "No Lou it won't" my own tears falling now, "Just let me know where you go ok" Lou asked also now crying, "Course I will, your my best friend and always will be" I cried
I didn't say anything to Harry before I left, I just got in my car and drove, I turned my phone off, I pulled over after driving for about 30 minutes and just sobbed and sobbed, I had ruined my life and Liam and Harry's lives! They were better off without me around I knew that.
Next thing I knew I was at Heathrow getting a flight to LA!
