Song - One Direction - Through the Dark
Harry agreed for me to stay as long as I got help, he also asked me to move into another bedroom, I totally understood, he hadn't mentioned Liam so I didn't want to bring the subject up till he did, I didn't want to push my luck with him
Harry took me to see a doctor who helped me find a rehab program, I was apprehensive at first, but this was a step in right direction, the program was residential so I had to leave them for as long as I needed with no contact at all, this scared me but it was the only way
Five weeks later I was sat on the bed in the rehab place waiting for Harry to pick me up, I hadn't see anyone for 5 weeks, no phone calls, nothing. But I had fought hard, the cold turkey part was the worst thing I had ever endured in my life, the shakes, being sick, at times I needed a drink more than I wanted to breathe, but now the urge was still there but nothing like before, it was going to be a long road
I heard a knock at the door and stood up and Harry walked in, "Hey" I smiled, we stood looking at each other for a few seconds, "Hey, you look great" Harry said, "No I don't, I look like shit" he walked over to me, "You always look good to me" he stroked my arm, I just threw myself into him and hugged him, "I've missed you so much" I said, "I think I've missed you more" he kissed my forehead, "Let's go home" Harry smiled
When we got home the house was so quiet, Harry explained that Lou had Daisy, he saw my face drop, " I know you want to see her, but I just thought it was best, she will be back in the morning" I smiled, "It's fine, honestly I understand" I replied
I went upstairs to the room I had been staying in before I left for rehab, I sat on the bed not knowing what to do really, Harry leaned against the door frame, "You ok?" He asked, "I'm fine, it just feels weird being home" he came and sat next to me on the bed, "Im so proud of you" he said, "I don't deserve you to be proud of me Harry" I started to cry, "Don't cry Lily, you have done the hardest part, but we will get through this together" I didn't deserve him I really didn't, "You have a lie down & I'll get some dinner sorted" I nodded, I must have fell asleep cos when I woke up it was dark, I turned the lamp on and sat trying to focus, I got up and walked across the landing, I heard Harry singing in the shower, I smiled and walked into the bedroom, the en suite door open, I apprehensively walked over to door, he was still singing, I got to the door way and stopped, I looked at him through the glass shower doors, his back to me, I studied the muscles in his back, his bum so perfect, and his long legs,min felt like I shouldn't be here, he turned round and jumped as her saw me stood there, "Harry I'm sorry, I just......" I said embarrassed, "It's fine" he smiled, I turned to walk out, he turned the shower off now and grabbed a towel wrapping it round his waist, he shoved his hand through his wet hair, his body glistening with water, "Lily it's fine, it's not like you haven't seen me naked before is it?" He laughed
I felt embarrassed again now, my face burning, "I'll let you get dressed" I said,really needing to leave the room before I ran over and ripped the towel off him, "I don't want you to go" Harry said, my heart racing now, I wanted him so badly, but he had rejected me before and who can blame him, "Come here" he held his hand out to me, I slowly walked over to him, my body shaking not from alcohol withdrawal but from him, "I don't think this is a good idea" I said, "Don't you want me anymore?" Harry asked, "Course I do, I will never stop wanting you, it's just after everything, I just didn't think you would want me again" I replied
He lifted my face up to him and kissed me, I'm closed my eyes, feeling his warm lips on me, he pushed me up against the bathroom counter, and lifted me up so he was stood between my legs, "I want to feel you" Harry whispered, I could feel my breathing getting quicker, he lifted my top over my head, his hands tracing down my chest, it felt it was the first time he had ever touched me, goosebumps formed all over my body, he kissed my neck now, I lay my head back, he pulled my bottoms down I was know naked, I pulled his towel off, Harry just stood now with his hands holding my face, staring into my eyes, "You are everything to me" he said, tears filling my eyes now, "I love you so much, please forgive me? I will never let you down again ever" I replied
My tears now falling, his thumbs brushed my tears away and he kissed me again, my hands trailing down his back, he pulled me forward to him as felt him hard against my leg, "Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked him, "I'm so sure" he whispered in ear, he gently pushed his way into me, my nails dug into his back as he moved back & forth so slowly, my tears still falling as I felt so much love for this man who I had let down so badly, he had given me another chance
Later on we lay on the bed, I just lay looking at him, "Why you staring me?" He smiled, "I need you to know why I did what I did with Liam" his face dropped, "I know why you did it, I don't want to go over it" he replied, I nodded, I didn't want to push it with him, "OK, I'm sorry" he stroked my arm, "Just leave it in the past, let's look forward to the future" Harry said.......
