My due date approached now, it had been the worst time of my life, so many times I nearly gave into my alcohol addiction, but this baby seemed to be my saviour which made me resent her even more
I was sat in the car waiting for Harry as he was getting petrol and some girls had spotted him, they were all giggling and getting pictures with, when I felt this warm wet sensation, my waters had broke, I sat watching Harry now, I pressed the button to lower the window, "Harry" I shouted, he lifted his arm up to gesture he was coming
He got into the car and smiled, "Right let's go" he said, starting the cars engine, "Harry, my waters have just broke" he looked at me his face full of panic, "Right, fuck let's get to the hospital, are you ok?" He touched my knee, "I'm fine really" I could feel a contraction building up which made me hold onto the dashboard, Harry put his foot down and before I knew it we were at the hospital
The contractions were coming so quick now, I was sucking on gas & air now, I knew it wouldn't be long before she was here, Harry stood at the side of me, I needed to push so much, "I have to push" I shouted, the midwife smiled, "Ok Lily it's time" she said
I new I needed one last push and it would be out, this person who had engulfed my body for 9 months, I screamed out as I gave the final push and then the midwife put her onto my chest, this screaming baby girl, with jet black hair, I lay my head back on the pillow feeling relief, "You have done it Lily" Harry said kissing my forehead, tears in his eyes, I looked down at our baby, so innocent, so tiny, we had created this life, my hand came up to touch her, she was beautiful
After the midwife had cleaned her up, Harry sat holding her, his face lit up, he kept looking at me & then back at her, "Harry can I hold her?" Harry smiled and brought her to me, he put her in my arms, I looked down at her face, her eyes wide open, my heart filled with love for this child, the child I didn't want, the child to be honest that had probably saved my life
Harry sat on the side of the bed, "I'm so proud of you, thank you for giving me two beautiful daughters" his eyes filling up, "No thank you for staying with me, I just feel like everything has just fell into place now" he leant down and kissed me
Daisy was beside herself with excitement when we finally got home from hospital the next day, we still hadn't decided on a name which was frustrating, I stood leaning against the door frame watching Daisy talk to the baby, Harry came up behind and put his arms round my waist, "You should be sat down" he said, "Shhhh" I said pointing at Daisy talking to her sister,
"You are my sister and I will look after you, you will love mummy she's really funny, and you will love daddy too but he thinks he's funny and he's not" I stifled a laugh and Harry pulled his face laughing, "Oh and daddy is really really famous and we get to go loads of places, and if your lucky he will sing to you like he sings to me sometimes" my heart melted watching Daisy bond with her sister, this was a whole new start for us
We decided to call her Gracie, she was a good baby, but still hard work and very tiring, she was 7 weeks old now, and getting bigger everyday, Harry doted on her totally, he didn't have this time with Daisy so it was special to him, I loved watching him with her
We hadn't had sex for months and I knew the frustration must have been building up for him because I myself now was feeling it, watching him walk round naked did not help at all, and I saw him giving me looks when I was getting dressed, but I knew I needed to make the effort so I arranged for Anne to take the girls so we could have a night on our own
Harry was taking me out to dinner and then we would see what happens, I could feel my stomach in knots when we were on our way home, all night we had been giving each other looks cos we knew what was coming, I felt like I'd never touched him before
As we got through the door to our house, Harry just kissed me, it was like the past few months had been pushed away in oblivion and it was just me & him again, he held my face in his hands as he kissed me, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, my hands on his hips, "Is this ok?" Harry asked, I nodded, he pulled my jacket off and it fell to the floor, "I want you inside me now" I whispered, he gave a small moan & then smiled
He lifted my dress up and felt his fingers brush over me, "I'll be gentle I promise" he said, he kneeled down infront of me and pulled down my underwear, his hands on my hips as he stared at me, I felt so self conscious, he pulled one of my legs over his shoulder, I steadied my self back on to wall, as he gently pushed finger inside me, his tongue flicking my most sensitive area, "Tell me if I hurt you" he said, I just felt like I was in heaven, his fingers just taking me to that place that you know there is no return
He stood back up now, I undid his belt & jeans and pulled them down, my hand grabbed him, he was the hardest I'd ever felt him, he moaned as stroked him, "Fuck me now" I whispered in his ear, he picked me up, his hands under my thighs and slipped himself slowly into me, my hands pulling his hair, "I want you deeper" I said, I wrapped my legs tighter round him, "Fuck Lily I'm not going to last much longer" his breathing so heavy, "Come then, come inside me now" I said my breathing so heavy I could hardly speak, my body exploding now all over him, a few seconds later his body weight pushing me against the wall as he came inside me, his moans like nothing I'd ever heard before, his head now buried in my shoulder
We lay in bed that night just wrapped up with each other, I traced the outline of his tattoos with my finger, "Did you know that I love you" I said, "Yeah sort of" he laughed, I slapped his arm now, "Ouch, course I know" he laughed again, "So what happens now?" I asked, "Well I thought maybe a holiday, a very long holiday, and lots of sex" Harry said smiling, "Sounds good to me! One question though? Any regrets?" I asked him seriously now, "What with us?" I nodded at him, "Just one" he said, "Oh right and what's that then?" I asked curiously, "That I let you go the first time, I should never have let that happen" my finger came up to his lips, "Well you found me and believe me I'm going nowhere" I leaned over and kissed him...........
