Infinity and Beyond

28 - Forever

Emily

My heart stopped the moment I heard the door open downstairs, then it started beating again at one hundred times its original speed. Even from all the way up in my old room I could hear everyone talking downstairs and their voices froze me to the spot. I'd been folding my clothes back into a bag, ready to go home whenever Ashton got back, which by the looks of things was now. With a t-shirt in one hand and a bra in the other, I sat motionless, shaking as a thousand things raced through my mind.

"Did you have a good time?" Michael, I think, asked - or at least it was something along those lines.

"Yep. And we got the job done," I managed to make out Calum saying.

"Awesome!" They started talking more quietly, so I assumed they had moved into the living room now as opposed to by the front door, and as I stopped hearing what they were saying I started hearing my own thoughts. This is it, I told myself. He's home. What are you waiting for? Go and talk to him. There's nothing stopping you now.

Except there was. There was my own fear. But my feet didn't listen to my mind and before I could think about it I was running downstairs. After all, was there ever going to be a good time?

I hurtled down the stairs and then again down the second flight, crashing onto the floor at the bottom. The smooth wood took my feet out from underneath me, thanks to my soft fluffy socks, and I slid sideways onto the floor. It got the others' attention and, although I could see Ashton's excitement at seeing me and his struggle not to laugh at my fall, he looked concerned as I spread across the floor.

"Oh my god, Emily, are you-" he started to say, but I had already scrambled back up and ran at him, launching myself into a hug. It knocked him back a couple of steps in surprise, but as I wrapped my legs around his waist and clung onto him tightly, he squeezed me back contently. We stayed like this for a few seconds, and all the while my thoughts were going crazy. I was shaking so much I could barely keep my arms around Ashton, but I knew that I had to do this. When he put me down, I looked in his eyes, took a deep breath, and silently prayed.

"I'm pregnant," I blurted out. His eyes widened slightly and shock registered, plastering his whole face with a stunned expression. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Luke nod at Michael then gesture to the kitchen, and they slowly and quietly left the room. Meanwhile, Calum just stood to the side with his mouth wide open.

"You- you- you're what?" Ashton stuttered.

"I'm pregnant. I'm sorry. I- I didn't know how to tell you before you left because I didn't want to worry you while you were away but everything is just so overwhelming and I don't know what to do and I'm sorry, I really am, but...I'm pregnant," I rambled. Letting out a breath and taking one in for the first time since I started talking, I took in his facial expression and tried to read behind the disbelief that was covering him. "Are you okay? Oh god, of course you're not, why would you be? You're in a band and you go on tour and you're busy, why would you want a baby? Ashton, I'm so sorry, oh fudge, I've messed everything up, you don't want this, you don't-"

"No, no, it's just...how? When? I..." he managed to say, his surprise slowly giving away to reveal confusion. "How long?"

"6 weeks, I think," I breathed out unsteadily. "It must have been when I was switching pills or something, because my old one was making me feel all weird. I didn't even realise for ages - I mean, I knew I was late, but it wasn't anything new so I didn't think anything of it, and then it slipped my mind and the next thing I know is I'm three weeks late and staring at a positive test."

"And you're sure?"

"If the seven tests I did are anything to go by, then yeah," I answered with a brief laugh but then I stopped and my face fell again. "Do you want this? I know it's not planned but...Ashton, please say something."