Infinity and Beyond

32 - Goodbye to a Lifetime

Might be a pretty sad chapter btw, just a heads up ❤️

Emily

When I was four, I had a complete meltdown on my first day of school. The whole of the summer between my last day of preschool and my first day of primary school, I had been bubbling with excitement - staring at my uniform hung up in my wardrobe with awe, running round the house yelling that I was a 'big girl now', wanting to take my lunchbox everywhere with me because I was so excited that I had my own Dora the Explorer one. Yet when it got to the morning of me leaving, and Mum and Dad knelt in front of me by the front door taking pictures of how smart I looked in my uniform, I looked at their faces and started to cry. I didn't want to leave them. I realised I was going to have to spend all day on my own away from them with other children I didn't know and I didn't want to, so I cried and I didn't stop. But instead of tell me off for being silly, they just comforted me and tried to make me laugh until I stopped crying. Mum held my hand and reassured me I would be fine and told me jokes, while Dad poked my sides then dried my tears and lifted the corners of my mouth so I was smiling, making me giggle. It may have made us ten minutes later leaving, but Dad just picked me up and half ran so that I had no more reason to worry by being late.

When I was seven I had my first solo in dance. It was only within the dance school so nothing big, but both of my parents treated it like it was. They sat in the front row, telling all our close family about it, and were the first faces I saw when I walked on stage. When everyone clapped at the end, they applauded loudest, and Dad filmed the whole thing. He made sure it never went unwatched, and from then on reminded me of this first performance every time I had another solo or important show. Even after my show at the Opera House he showed me a photo of me in costume by the side of one that he took with me from the night they came to see me, letting me know how proud he was of how far I'd come. Him and Mum had always, always been my biggest supports.

When I was fifteen, I was being bullied. For a little while it had just been occasional name calling, the odd shove in the corridor, then one day it escalated to me being called a fat ugly slut in front of about fifty people. I took it to heart, because I knew I wasn't exactly the lightest person and was in a relationship with someone a year older than me. It was all true in my mind and I got home from school that day and went straight to my room, not leaving for the rest of the evening. Mum tried to talk to me when I first shut the door, and attempted to persuade me to have some dinner, but I refused. It wasn't until later that I heard the door open and I rolled over in bed to see Dad walking in. I was all ready to moan at him for coming in and not knocking but when he just sat down and hugged me I gave it up and told him everything. He talked with me for hours, late into the night, and from then on their words never bothered me again.

When I was eighteen, I broke up with said boyfriend who was a year older than me. He had been my only ever relationship, really, and we made it three years before everything went wrong. He was from a well off family and so as soon as he was eighteen he was allowed his own place, and after a lot of persuasion my parents let me move in with him when I too was eighteen. I had basically lived there anyway, I visited so much, but apparently this final step was one too far. It all fell apart and I showed up on my parents' doorstep again with a broken heart and nowhere to go. Of course I had somewhere to go, though. They let me in with open arms and looked after me again, and even though I moved back out months later to London to start up the cake shop, I always had my parents and I always had a home.

Now, here I was at twenty three, about to say goodbye to a lifetime of Dad's help and support. For almost twenty four years he had been someone I looked up to and could rely on, no matter what situation I was in. I wouldn't have been the person I was today if it weren't for him and his endless love and encouragement. Without him, I would have hated school from the first day; I might not have had the confidence to ever do another solo dance; I would still let bullies get to me; I could be living on the streets with nothing. Everything he and mum did for me lead me to where I was that day. But that day was one where I had to leave him.