Dear Ellen.

Chapter 13

I stared at Natalie, my mouth falling slack. Was she serious? I saw Harry’s mouth turn up into a smile. He nodded before grabbing my hand and pulling me into the room. He waved out of the door at the boys before shutting it. I was still processing everything that was happening, and didn’t notice Harry said something until he started waving his hand in front of my face.

“Alexis? Love?” He tried.

“Huh? Oh! Oh. Sorry, what?” I stuttered, obviously embarrassed.

“I asked if you had any sweatpants I could wear.” He repeated, amusement clear in his eyes.

“Not that would fit you right.” I said, looking his body up and down. He was a good three inches taller than me. I had one pair that might fit him, but I’m not sure that I brought them. “Or, hang on. I might.” I walked around him, moving straight towards my suitcase.

I dug around for a while before finally pulling out my rasta pajama pants. They were too big on me, but might fit Harry just right. “Here, you can try these.” I said, pushing the pants at him. He grabbed them and started to unbutton his own. “In the bathroom, Haz!” I yelled, obviously shocking him.

“Oh. Oh, yeah, sorry. Forgot… Just. Going in the bathroom now.” He stuttered out. I laughed loudly as he walked into the room next to this one, shutting the cream-colored door. He was still red when he had turned around and winked at me. He must have forgotten that I wasn’t a bandmate.

Was I okay with that? We had clicked pretty quickly, we were already quickly becoming friends. What if I was stuck forever in the friend zone with Harry Styles? It wouldn’t surprise me. They are so many girls out there that would kill to have him, and most were prettier than me. I knew I liked the Harry Styles that the media and general population knew, but was that Harry the real Harry? So far, yes.

“Alexis.” Harry said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“What?” I said, still orienting myself back in the room.

“I asked what you wanted to do. Is this something you normally do?” He asked, smirking slightly at my dazed expression. Truthfully, I did. Zoning out was something I was famous for at school.

“Yeah, sort of. It’s something you’ll have to get used to, I’m afraid.” I said, smiling. “We could sleep. It’s late.” I said, trying to make this arrangement as normal as possible. The less awkward, the better. Harry moved closer to me, putting his hand lightly on my arm.

“Now, that wouldn’t be any fun.” He mumbled, his mouth moving to my ear. “Would it?” My breath hitched as he pulled me closer to him. He gave me a small kiss below my ear before pulling away. I tried to remain calm, but I was pretty sure he could tell what we was doing to me.

“No. I-I guess not.” I stuttered out, slightly breathless. Damn it. Harry noticed, a grin spreading across his face.

“So let’s not do that.” He continued, obviously wanting me to go on.

“We could watch a movie?” I tried. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, but he seemed to have something in mind. He must have been thinking something similar, though, because he nodded.

“Alright. The Notebook?” He tried. I nodded eagerly.

“Sure! You set up, I’m going to go get ready for bed really fast. Feel free to help yourself to whatever. There’s some food in the kitchen, and Monster in the fridge. Stay out of my suitcase, though.” I said. Harry Styles going through the various forms of lace in my suitcase? That’s really about as embarrassing as it gets.

“Yes ma’am!” He said, saluting me as I went to grab some pajamas out of the suitcase. I laughed quietly, grabbing my shampoo, conditioner, body wash, razor, and shaving cream while I was over there. I was trying to keep the bathroom clean, so most of my shower stuff kept moving back to my bag.

I walked into the bathroom, shutting the door before leaning against it, taking deep breaths. I was locked in my hotel room with Harry Styles. The same  Harry Styles who was a renowned flirt. The same Harry Styles who was not a virgin. The same Harry Styles who had probably never had his heart broken, and had no clue what it was like to have your emotions played with.

Could this end badly?

Of course it could.

Would it?

No one knows.

Do I care?

Probably the scariest answer of all. No. I didn’t.

I finished my little pep talk, jumping into the shower and turning it on. I let the water wash over me, already feeling my head start to clear.

Thirty minutes later I was out of the shower, brushing my teeth. I felt a lot better, the headache from the bonfire now just a dull throbbing. I was used to it, and had learned how to live my life around it. I changed quickly, first putting on my matching hot pink and black underwear and bra. I quickly slipped on my gray sweatpants, pulling my hot pink racerback tank top on as I walked out the door.

“About time!” Harry complained from the couch. He was eating a bag of chips and drinking a Monster. He had waited until I had come out to start the movie. How nice.

“I’d say that is the fastest shower I have ever taken.” I countered, going to sit beside him. My hair was still damp from the shower, and therefore being extremely annoying. It fell in my face a few times before I sighed and threw it up into a ponytail.

“You’re cute when you’re frustrated.” Harry observed, winking goofily. I laughed, my head falling back on the couch slightly. Harry shook his head before starting the movie, and immediately pulled my closer. My head ended up in his lap, his hands running up and down my side. I shivered from the contact, but Harry mistook it for being cold and threw the blanket from the back of the couch on top of me. His hand never left my side, and by the time the movie started, I was close to fainting from pleasure.

“Could you stop? I can’t concentrate.” I mumbled, pulling has hand up around my stomach. Harry looked down at me, his smile dripping satisfaction.

“I effect you that much, already?” He teased. I blushed.

“Never said that.” I mumbled, but my expression gave away the truth. Yes. Yes he did.

That can’t be good.

Author's Note:

Sorry this is short, and not very good to be completely honest.

I'm trying, I really am. I'm just not feeling the best lately, and I think that reflects the most in my writing, because that's where I let it all out.

The sad chapters in First Love really flowed, but these are a bit harder to write. I am really super sorry, but I promise they will get better.

I also don't exactly know where I'm going right now, so I might get some help from a friend of mine. I think she'd be good at helping with this.

I love you all, even if you don't love me right now.(:

Love, Alexis(: