Excerpt from a Book I will Never Write

37

"she just doesn't wanna get up in the morning."
"she just doesn't wanna live in pain."
life is pain. i wake up every morning in pain, i go to school in pain. you know how many times i just wanted to give up? how many times i thought about ending it? more than 10. 20. he'll maybe even 30. no ones gonna miss me. i wouldn't even miss me. i'm so ready to go that it's gotten to the point where i'm bout to just go out my window and find the nearest train track, bridge, car, lake, river just something to end it all. you're probably like
"she didn't say pills"
well because a lot of people come back from that and i don't wanna come back. everyone's like
"you have so much to live for! why would you wanna kill yourself?"
maybe cause i don't wanna live in this fucked up society with a forever lasting trend called
"faking it"
"killing yourself is a sin."
YOU getting on my nerves is a sin , bye.