Excerpt from a Book I will Never Write

190

Do you what it's like?
To be trapped in your own mind?
To hate yourself more than you could ever imagine?
To have nobody care?
To feel alone?
To feel empty?
To not want anything to do with the world?
To have your whole family hate you?
To cut yourself just to remember you can still feel?
To have suicidal thoughts?
To cry yourself to sleep?
To just want to shut off from the world?
To just want to end it all?
To care about someone only to get hurt in the end?
To rise only to fall?
To fuck everything up?
To live with so many regrets?
To ruin everything?
To take all the blame?
To feel so low?
To feel depressed?
Do you know what it feels like?
Because I do, and I hate it.