Shake it off

Chapter twenty

The hotel room was cold. In midst of December this was to be expected. Yet the warmth of the blankets and Percy next to him made him feel like he was in a cocoon.

Unfortunately it was only allowed two people per bed, and they couldn't afford two beds, so Nico volunteered to sleeping outside. And if Leo squinted his eyes he could see the gothic boy inside the car, with a flashlight and a cigarette. He must be freezing in there. Leo nearly went out there himself to at least keep him company, but Percy reminded him that there would be no reassurance in letting more people than need be be cold.

Leo nuzzled into the hollow of Percy's shoulder, breathing in his scent. He couldn't remember his dream, but it filled him with dread, and made him scared for some reason. His heartbeat was erratic and he was suddenly very aware of his own mortality. It invaded his ears and his fingertips and smashed against his throat. He felt as though his heartbeat was a tangible thing, as it filled his body and squeezed him against the blankets. The dark held itself against Leo's eyes. He was afraid to close his eyes. 

He had definitely had a bad dream. His brain contintued to pester him relentlessly, that heartbeat screamed that one day he was going to die. That was a fact. One day he would be dead, and he would know what came after death. He didn't want to know.

He was terrified and vulnerable. All of the dark corners and edges of the room came at him and seemed to taunt him.

He knew it was stupid, and it was obvious that he would regret it minites afterwards, but he needed someone to endure this with him. "Percy." he whispered. He shook his boyfriend's shoulder. When he didn't wake up immediately Leo felt even more powerless. "Percy! Percy wake up!" he whispered his words, scared to even make a sound. He shook his shoulder a bit more vigorously and Percy eventually awoke.

"Wha?" his eyes slowly opened. Leo was sitting on top of him, his legs at either side of his hips. His hands drummed against Percy's bare chest.

"I'm sorry, I just had a bad dream."

Percy sat up, almost hitting their heads together. "How bad?" he reached over and turned on the lamp.

"Well," Leo glanced over at the warm glow of the lampshade, thankful it was there. "I don't remember it, but I know it was bad, and you know that feeling you get when you wake up from a nightmare?"

"Yeah. That's what happened?" Leo looked into Percy's green eyes. He was shirtless and he could see the traces of his muscles. He realized that he was practically sitting in his lap. His face flushed.

"Y-yeah."

Percy pushed his fingers into Leo's hair. "I'm sorry." he looked tired with his hair everywhere, and it growing out just a bit.

"I'm sorry for waking you, I know its dumb." Leo suddenly felt really self conscious.

Percy snuggled into Leo's neck, his hands on his sweater. "No, its not. Feel free to talk to me about anything at anytime."

Leo wrapped his arms around Percy's neck. "But you're driving tomorrow and-"

Percy kissed his words away. "It doesn't matter. I love you and I'm completely willing to wake up in the middle of the night to hear you talk."

Leo smiled at that. He played with Percy's hair, knowing that he loved that. The older boy traced circles on Leo's thighs. Percy smiled back.

"You dork." Leo sighed, pressing their foreheads together.

Percy chuckled under his breath. "Nerd."

Leo shut his eyes, happy to be embracing his lover so close. Heartbeat against heartbeat. Skin against skin. He no longer felt so vulnerable. Although Percy was under him before, it felt as though he was actually there when he could feel his hand on Leo's waist, and his words piling against his lips.

"How do you literally look amazing? You just woke up." Percy complimented in a low voice.

Leo traced shapes onto Percy's collarbone with his thumb. "Its a gift." he sighed dramatically. "But the same could be said for you."

Percy kissed him again. And if Percy knew what those kisses did to him. He giggled against it when Percy flipped them over, and the latino was under Percy. Hands pressed underneath Leo's sweater. He felt hot fingers trail against his bodies.

Percy broke away to press his lips against Leo's neck. He laughed. "Shouldn't you be getting some sleep?"  the bed was soft underneath his back. He felt dazed with happiness and it was almost ridiculous how the situation was. "You're the one who has to drive in the morning."

Percy lifted the sweater up so that he could kiss Leo's stomache, littered with scars. "Can't we mess around a little? I'll be happy to drink one of those five hour energy drinks if you want?"

Leo's breath caught when Percy nipped at his tan skin. He traced the hem of his boxers. He felt a wet kiss on his hip.

Leo pushed him away softly. "No actual sex, okay?" Not yet, I have to be sure.

Percy sighed frustratedly yet playfully. "Okay, but that leaves room for so much more stuff!"

--

Leo almost tackled Nico in a hug. "I was so worried about you!" Leo grinned, happy that he wasn't frozen to death.

"Get off, you weirdo." Nico said as pushed Leo away. The normal reaction from him. The younger boy rolled his eyes and muttered something about how Leo should remember his personal space. "Lets hit the road again."

"Of course, 17 hours driving, from New York to Florida." Percy was smiling. He seemed to be in a much better mood than the day before. Leo thought it was almost childish.

He stared down the road. All of a sudden the reality of the situation dawned on him. It hit him like a truck, with the realization that he was going to see his father again. He would have to say things. He was completely terrified.

He felt a hand wrap around his own. Nico was already getting in the back seat, smoking a cigarette. He looked up into green eyes. "Leo, its okay. I know all of this is crazy, but its gonna be okay."

Leo sighed loudly. "You're optimistic today." he laughed. "Good mood?"

"Good orgasms." Percy stated, winking at Leo.

He felt his face turn a deep shade of crimson. Snow started to fall, reminding him that they were on winter break, and had a very tight schedule. "Fuck off."

He pushed Percy away and stalked off towards the car. "I'll be there in a second, I'm gonna get some stuff from the gas station first."

Leo stepped into the car, sighing in relief. He felt his sternum relax, making even the act of breathing almost tiresome.

"Leo, you okay?" Nico looked at him with those dark circles under his eyes. They were red and puffy. He was wearing a black hoodie with the hood up. Black like a tv screen after it shuts off, the same color replicating in his hair. Curls that weren't quite as curly as Leo's own.

"I'm fine." he lied. He disliked lying to Nico especially. He didn't deserve it. Yet he also didn't need to hear about how stupidly stressed out Leo was. "What about you?"

Nico fidgeted. "I'll survive." he looked at the ground. "Percy doesn't like me, does he?"

Leo felt his heart sink. No, it was pretty obvious that the two of them weren't on the best terms. After all, the first thing Nico did when he saw Percy was slam him against the wall and basically telling him he fucked up bad. But looking at Nico like this, he was definitely not in the best mental state. He had always been a little... Fragile. Mentally, that is. He definitely wasn't fragile in an obvious way. His dark clothing and rude attitude made that completely obvious that he wasn't exactly physically fragile. His mental state was just flimsy. "You didn't exactly make the best first impression." Leo admitted. "But he doesn't hate you. Mayne if you want to you could apologize. It doesn't seem like you like him all that much either, honestly."

Nico tugged on his hood a little. "Well, no. Not really, but I don't hate him either. I just don't want him to break your heart."

Leo took his hand. "Well, I hope he doesn't either. If he does, then I swear you can hurt him as much as you want."

Nico smiled a tiny bit.