First

Chapter 9

I had to watch them together before they both graduated and moved on to high school, while I was still stuck in junior high.

In a way, it was a blessing having some separation from them. Because for an entire year, I had to watch them walk hand in hand down the hallway, sneak kisses when they thought the teachers weren't looking.

Day by day, all of it slowly killed me. The first few days were the worst. Levi—sensing something was wrong—drove me to and from school each and every day without question. I was thankful he didn't pry and it allowed me to try and process it all. But each day, after watching Maddie and Jace together, I'd come home and cry myself to sleep.

To know that I spent an entire year hiding my feelings only to have Jace end up with someone else killed me. At the time, I was too young to know what it was that I was feeling. But looking back on it, nothing could describe the way I felt about Jace except love. I loved him and I didn't realize it.

And I'd let Jace slip through my fingers. I was scared I'd never get the chance to tell Jace how I really felt; never get the chance to be with him the only way I wanted. But I knew that I would never get that chance. He was with Maddie now. My window of opportunity was gone.

It absolutely destroyed me a little more every day. But somewhere along the way, it got a little easier. Jace and I no longer spent every waking minute together. Instead, we slowly drifted apart and I avoided him as much as possible.

At the ranch, I stayed away, something my dad was very happy about although he never voiced his feelings about our separation. Like Levi, he sensed that something had changed between Jace and I but no one was willing to comment on it. Even Reagan, who never knew her limits, kept her mouth shut which was highly unusual for her.

But I was loathe to admit how much Jace affected me, even reflecting back on our relationship. I wanted to convince myself that it was a silly school girl crush.

For two years, I had to watch Jace and Maddie transition from junior high crush to high school sweethearts.

I went on dates here and there but I found myself comparing every boy to Jason Fields. I was stuck and I became someone I never wanted to be. The stereotypical girl—I wanted what I couldn't have. But I resigned myself to the fact that I'd never have a shot with Jace.

But the summer before I started high school rumours were going around that the power couple had finally split up. I didn't want to let myself hope because hope had a way of destroying people. And I wouldn't be able to handle the disappointment when I found out that the rumours were just that, rumours. No matter how much I hated to admit it, I was still as enamoured with Jace as I had been the day I met him.

When Jace showed up that day for work, I was convinced I was dreaming because just by looking at him, I could tell that the rumours were true. They really were over.

Jace only confirmed my suspicions when he stepped out of his truck and said, "We broke up." He looked absolutely devastated.

Out of instinct I reached out and embraced him; he just sounded so sad. Jace squeezed me back as if he never wanted to let me go. And I knew in that moment, that I was being given a second chance by the powers that be.

We had grown apart and I realized that I missed having him around as a friend. Now... now we could try again.

Andin the months that followed, it was as if the past two years had neverhappened. We were friends and I'd take that. Anything to have him in my life.+] ,a