First

Chapter 64

10 years ago...

"Bundle up its cold out there," I laughed, doing up jackets and tying scarves. The winter weather was starting to set in and it was the first real cold snap.My grade twos had yet to realize just how cold it was out there. I laughed once more as they waddled out of the room, out to recess. Since Jace had been gone, I had to go back to work, putting all 4 kids in daycare while I was teaching. I loved being back in the classroom and it wasn't too bad seeing as Cameron, Izayah and Payton were in school themselves but it was hardest to be away from our youngest, Colton, only a year old. I had been so used to being a stay at home mom that it was really hard being away from him, especially knowing this was my last baby.

Once all my students were out the door, I sat down at my desk to get things ready for their next activity. I looked over at my picture of Jace that sat on my desk, kissing my fingers then pressing them to the frame. "I miss you," I whispered, tears forming in my eyes. With each day that he was gone it was getting harder and harder. I was starting to think that he would never come home. But I knew that was silly, he had promised that he would come home. Even still, I had a pit in my stomach today that I couldn't explain. I had since the day he had left.

Just then my phone rang, jolting me back to the present. "Hello," I answered, spinning away from Jace's picture and shuffling papers.

"Hi Kadence, um," Janice, our secretary stammered. "Um, there is someone here to see you," she said.

"Oh? Who is it?" I asked, curious. No one ever showed up at the school, normally if they wanted to talk to me they just called.

"He says his name is Max..." she paused and my heart stopped.

Max. Right then I knew... this wasn't good. Max wouldn't be here unless something had happened; unless something had happened to Jace. "Okay, I'll be right down." I hung up the phone and rushed down to the office, everything else forgotten.

All sorts of scenarios were running through my head, none that I really wanted to focus on. But then it struck me and my mood instantly brightened. He was probably just here to tell me that Jace was coming home. Jace had probably called Max to get him to tell me. With that thought in mind, I was able to relax. Nothing was wrong. I was just overreacting, I told myself.

I didn't see Max when I got to the office. When Janice spotted me looking around in confusion she pointed to the staff room. "He's in there." I nodded and walked back into the staff room. But the second I walked into the room the smile that had been on my face dissolved as soon as I caught the look on his. Max's eyes were rimmed with red, his face pale and his body drawn. He was pacing back and forth but stopped when he saw me.

"Hey," he said, his voice trembling.

I shook my head in denial. "Max..." tears started to form in my eyes. I knew what he was going to say.

He approached me and wrapped his arms around my body. "I'm so sorry, Kadence," he managed to choke out.

I felt the exact moment that my heart broke. I let out a wail that I was sure could be heard throughout the school but I didn't care. "Jace! Oh god. No!" My knees gave out and I slid to the floor, unable to hold myself up any . This couldn't be happening. He had promised, Jace had promised that he would come home. "Jace," I cried. Please god, don't let this be it.

The pain was crippling, I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I couldn't even breathe. All I could do was wail. A part of my soul had just died; a part of me had just died. I would never been the same. Jace had been my first and only love; we had fought through so much only to have him taken so cruelly from me. War was a terrible thing. It took so many good people from their families. I knew to a lot of people he would be just a name on the screen when they reported his... death... but to me... to me he was my everything. My reason for living.

Max didn't make any move to quiet or soothe me. He was crying too. Jace had been his best friend. He was hurting just like I was. "I'm so sorry," was all he said, over and over. God, this hurt so bad, how was I supposed to survive this? I never thought that I would ever have to go through losing him. Every time Jace had left he had made it home. This was supposed to be his last tour; he was supposed to be coming home, to me and to his kids. It wasn't supposed to end like this. Oh god, the kids... I sobbed harder. How was I supposed to tell our kids that their Daddy wasn't coming home? He had never even had the chance to meet Colton. He would never get the chance to watch them grow up, graduate, start a family of their own... We would never sit on our porch and watch our grandkids run around in the yard.

"The kids... I have to go get the kids." I needed to be with my kids.

"Clara has them; I had to tell her what was happening. Let's just get you home," he said.

Clara... this was going to break her heart just as much as mine. This was all too much. His death was touching so many people.

"I'll have to get someone to cover my class," I replied, trying to stand but my legs wouldn't hold me. Max caught me and I collapsed onto his chest. His arms came around me and it hit me... Jace would never wrap his arms around me again. He would never kiss me, or tell me he loved me. He would never get the chance to tuck his kids into bed... And Colton... Colton would never know his father. At all this, the sobbing and wailing started all over again. Every second that passed, it hit me anew that Jace wouldn't be coming home, not this time. I had just lost my soul mate.

Eventually Max was able to get me out of the staff room and into hiscar, the entire thing a blur. I didn't remember even getting home. I had topush my grieving the back of my mind. Right now I had 4 kids to worry about, 4kids I was about to tell that their Daddy would never be coming home.