First

Chapter 37

Months went by and things got better. Jace was no longer the scared little boy he had been when I first met him. He was throwing himself into school—and me—with vigor and he was finding joy in things that he loved. I knew that he missed his siblings but for the first time in his life, he was free of responsibilities that never should have been foisted on him in the first place. I loved seeing him so happy and he truly was happy. It was the first time in a long time that I had seen him smile and laugh this much. Jace was focusing on himself and making plans for himself. He was graduating in a few months and was deciding what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. Jace and I tossed ideas back and forth, some more serious than others. But one career kept re-appearing and I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

"What do you think about the military?" Jace asked one afternoon as we were laying on my bed working on our homework.

I sat up from where I was laying on my stomach and faced him. "Um, what?" I asked in shock.

Jace shrugged and sat up too. He scooted forward until our knees were touching. "I want to do it, Kadence. I've been thinking about it for a while."

"But Jace, why? I mean there are so many other careers out there that you would be amazing at. Why the military?"

Again Jace shrugged. "I want to help people .Papa was in the military before he passed away and he always talked about it. I couldn't help myself for so long so I know what it's like to be helpless. I want to help the people who can't help themselves."

My heart thudded in my chest. "You do realize what could happen, right? You could leave and never come back. It's dangerous. It would mean you'd be gone all the time for God knows how long. How are we supposed to have a relationship?" I asked, desperate to make him understand what this would all entail.

Jace pulled me into his arms. "I've thought about it all. And I'm not asking you to stay through it all. I can't ask you to do that. I just felt that I owed it to you to tell you."

"Of course I would stay. I love you; after everything we've been through I'm not about to let something like this tear us apart."

He laughed sadly. "Good, because I don't want you to leave. I want you right here by my side. But I would understand if you didn't want the same thing; I get that it's a lot to ask."

"It sounds like you've decided on this," I commented evenly. I was a little hurt that he had made this decision without really talking to me about it but at the same time I understood. I couldn't fault him for taking any opportunity to do something for himself. He had no one to answer to anymore when it came to decisions.

Jace laid back on the bed and pulled me with him. "I have. I want this, Kadence, more than anything."

I nodded and cuddled into his side. "Okay. Then we get through this, together."

His lips descended on mine and I smiled. "Thank you."

Afterthat things moved quickly. He enlisted and the second he turned eighteen andgraduated high school he was accepted. He was away for six months for basictraining and it was the hardest thing either us had ever gone through. We hadalways spent every second together and having him gone and not within reach forsix months was a hard pill to swallow. I cried myself to sleep more nights thanI can count. I knew he would be coming back to me; that was what I remindedmyself of every night when I closed my eyes. It was the actual deploymentoverseas that I was dreading. There was no guarantee of his safety once wereceived that notice. Each and every day after he returned from training Iprayed the notice would never come; that he would never get the phone call thatwould take him away from me. Because I knew, without a doubt that things wouldchange from that point forward. And I didn't want things to change. I wantedthem to stay the same.