First

Chapter 61

Jace blew out a breath and plucked a piece of grass growing haphazardly out of the sand. Lost in a sea of sand, alone. Like Jace, I thought. "When I was over there," Jace said, playing with the grass. "I was part of a patrol of sorts. We patrolled the villages and towns, cleaning up the mess and helping people after an attack. One day, we were out on a patrol when we got news of an attack in an area of town we had just been at so we rushed back to try and minimize the damage."

I sat in shocked silence; this was the first time Jace had ever told me what he had been through. I got spoon-fed information here and there yet never before had I heard the whole story. But what he told me next chilled me to the bone.

"The rest of the area had minimal damage; they'd concentrated their attack on a local orphanage." Jace hung his head and took a steadying breath. I reached out and rested my hand on his back. "Kids were yelling and the adults were screaming at us to help; there were still children trapped inside. We didn't have time to think, we just acted." Jace gulped. "The building was smoldering, most of the fire having burned out. I'll never forget... there... there were bodies everywhere. Everywhere we looked they were either dead or dying. There was nothing we could do to save them."

I wiped away a single tear. An image of a burning building flashed through my mind... I had seen this story on the news. Never in a million years had I thought that Jace had been there. I couldn't imagine having to go through that. And yet Jace had. No wonder he was having nightmares, I thought.

"We scouted the building but I broke off from the guys and just wandered, wanting and needing to find someone still alive. The fact that someone could do this to kids...I wanted to kill whoever had done this. A part of me hoped one of them would still be in here so I could kill them myself."

And if you had this would be so much worse, I thought. Jace was a gentle soul, despite everything he had been through. I knew that if he had managed to kill someone like that there was no way he would be able to survive.

"All the bodies... they were just babies, Kadence," he sobbed, breaking down. He buried his head in his knees. "Innocents; they couldn't have been more than 10 years old at most."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him to me in comfort.

"I walked past so many bodies, just asking myself why. I knelt down beside a kid, he must have been six or close to it. It was then that I realized he was still breathing. He held his hand out to me and I squeezed it. He squeezed back and there was nothing I could do to help him. I had to sit there, helpless, and watch the light and life bleed out of him. He died right there in my arms. I've never felt so useless."

"Oh, god, Jace..."

"But then I heard the cry." Jace continued as if I hadn't spoken and I knew he was in his own little world. I just needed to let him get it out once and for all.

"I followed the sound to a crib tucked away into a corner. It was a baby, a newborn. Amazingly , he was uninjured; thankfully he had been overlooked. I picked him up and he immediately stopped crying. I held him to my chest and he curled into me as if sensing that he was finally safe. I took him outside and to the local hospital.

"I found out from one of the headmasters that the little guy's parents had died shortly after he was born in another attack. And this little trooper had survived. I went back every day to check on him—they even let me help to name him. Cameron." Jace smiled, obviously remembering the little boy.

"He was doing amazing when I left but he still hadn't been discharged from the hospital. I formed such a connection with him, Kade. I don't even know how to describe it. I know I should have told you about all this but I just couldn't bring myself to do it; it was connected to all those dead kids I... just..."