First

Chapter 36

"It's okay," I mouthed. "I understand." I tried to smile even though tears were falling from my eyes. But I knew it was for the best, he needed to go with his siblings and help them adjust, God knows they would need all the help they could get.

He took a deep breath and faced the judge once again. "I've made my decision. I, um... I want to stay here."

A horrified gasp came from his mother and my mouth hit the floor. I was on my feet in an instant, tugging insistently on his sleeve, trying to get his attention. "Jace, no. Think about what you're doing," I cried desperately. He couldn't do this. I wouldn't let him.

Jace simply shook me off. "Kadence, stop."

"Are you sure, Jason?" the judge asked, watching the two of us with interest now.

Jace nodded. "I've thought about this for a while. I've given everything up so that my brother and sister could have a good life. I've gone through so much crap in order to protect them. But I finally want to do something for myself. I'm graduating in seven months; I don't want to screw that up. I have friends here. I have people that I love here. And as much as I love my family... there is someone that I love more and I can't leave her behind. So I'm staying," Jace said with an air of decision.

I sat there in silence; I didn't know what to say.

"So you'll be moving in with your grandmother then?"

At that Jace shook his head. "Um, no. For the past few months my girlfriend's family has taken me in and I've worked out an agreement with her father. He has agreed to let me stay with them until I turn 18. He said that he would take guardianship of me; he's already started on the papers."

I couldn't sit here and listen to this anymore. I got up and stormed out of the courtroom, tears dripping down my face. I found a secluded corner and collapsed to the floor. How could he do this? He was supposed to go with his family; he had promised me that he would do the right thing. And then to find out that he and my dad had been planning this all along hurt more than I could have imagined. I couldn't live with the guilt of knowing that Jace chose me over his family. Was I supposed to be happy that he was staying? There were too many emotions going through my body to pinpoint what I was actually feeling. But above all else, I was furious with Jace. He had gone back on a promise and that hurt more than anything. I had been preparing myself for him to leave since we found out his mother was moving. I had convinced myself that I would be okay. And now to find out that he had put me through that hurt for nothing... he knew all along that he wouldn't be moving. I knew he hadn't told me because he knew I would argue but still... it hurt. And he was supposed to be with his family; as much as I knew that I wanted him to stay I also knew that it wasn't the right thing to do. He needed to be with his family not me.

After what seemed like forever, the doors to the courtroom opened and Jace walked out followed by his grandmother, his mother and her lawyer. He looked around frantically, no doubt looking for me. I had no plans to stand up so I just sat there, watching him trying to find me. I wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now. I was furious and upset and happy and guilt ridden. Talk about contradictions. Eventually Jace spotted me hiding away in the corner. He approached me slowly and sat down. He was right beside me, so close all I had to do was reach out with a finger to touch him and yet we sat staring straight ahead.

Jace was the one to break the silence. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "You shouldn't have done that. The twins need you."

I finally looked at Jace only to see him shaking his head in return. "Not as much as I need you." I started to argue with him but he cut me off. He reached over and grabbed my hands roughly in his. "Did you not listen to anything I said in there? Kadence, I have given up so much for them and put my life on hold for them. I'm 17 years old; I want to finally do something that makes me happy. And staying here, with you, is what makes me happy."