First

Chapter 40

The time that Jace was gone passed in a blur but there were moments of colour. But those moments were always cast in shadow, knowing that Jace wouldn't be by my side to experience what I was. Having Max by my side didn't offer any consolation. It was nice to know that I still had somebody in my corner but it wasn't the same as having Jace. Nobody could ever replace him.

I graduated; walked across the stage to get my diploma... I started my first year of university... I got my driver's license... decided what I wanted to do with my life... And with each milestone that I approached, I was reminded that Jace wasn't there.

Jace and I talked as often as we could but that was only once every three weeks or so if we were lucky. There were times we went without talking for months at a time. With each passing day it got harder and harder to be away from him. I was slowly forgetting what it felt like to be in his arms, what his lips felt like pressed against mine... the way my heart sped up when he walked into a room. I knew in the back of my mind that I could never truly forget him but it was all slowly fading away and it felt like the worst kind of death. Slow and painful.

*****

The call came seven months after he had left. My soldier was finally coming home two weeks before Christmas. I couldn't think of a better gift than to have Jace home; I was going to have everything I wanted. I spent those two weeks getting everything ready for Jace's arrival, making sure all his clothes were washed, his favourite foods were in the fridge and that he would have everything he could possible need or want. I was excited for him to come home but at the same time I was worried. What was he going to be like when he got home? Would he be the same Jace that I loved when he left or would be forever changed? There was no way of knowing. I had done searches but never received any conclusive results. It all depended on the person. And I honestly couldn't guess how Jace was going to react. I would just have to do everything I could to support him when he came home. There were so many unanswered questions swirling around in my head that it was making me dizzy. Focusing on Jace and his imminent return was the best thing I could do right now.

The weeks flew by and before I knew it I was getting ready to go out to the airport to pick him up. Since his arrival was late at night, Max had offered to drive. The entire way there my heart was in my throat and I couldn't sit still. I needed to move but I couldn't, seeing as I was stuck in a moving car. Walking into the airport, there were a bunch of other military families already there, holding signs to welcome home their loved ones.

"Should we have made a sign?" I asked, turning to Max in sudden worry.

Max laughed lightly and wrapped his arm around my shoulder as he led me over to a spot in the crowd closest to the gate. "No. I'm pretty sure the only thing Jace will care about seeing is your pretty face."

I nodded and blew out a breath of air. I bounced on the spot, waiting for the announcement that Jace's plane had landed. It seemed like hours that we waited but I was just anxious to see Jace. All sorts of emotions were running through my body but the most prominent was excitement. Finally, a voice came in over the intercom, announcing the arrival of Flight 445 from Toronto; Jace's flight.

"Oh my god, he's here," I cried, turning to Max. He smiled at me and gave my side a squeeze. My eyes tore through the crowd as the passengers disembarked. There were so many people and all around me, loved ones were reuniting. Suddenly, I spotted a familiar blond head in the crowd. Without a second thought I ran for him, darting away from Max's side. I manoeuvred through the crush of bodies until I finally had a clear path to him. Jace spotted me at the same time I cleared the crowd. He dropped his bag and I threw myself into his arms.