Comebacks For Bitches

161-180

161) Are we in a bathroom 'cause you're full of shit.

162) I'm not cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.

163) I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?

164) If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

165) I'm too lazy for revenge, I'll let Karma work it's magic on you.

166) Scientists say the universe is made up of neutrons, protons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.

167) Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.

168) You'll never be the man your mother is.

169) Did you know they used to be called "Jumpolines" until your mum jumped on one?

170) Just because you have one doesn't mean you need to act like one.

171) Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news - they found your head.

172) You're not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking.

173) Quick - check your face! I just found your nose in my business.

174) Don't you get tired of putting make up on two faces every morning?

175) Gay? I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.

176) Insult: "Kiss my ass"

Comeback: "Not until you shave it"

177) If I wanted a comeback that old I would have wiped it off your mums face.

178) I don't know what has more lint, your clothes or your belly button.

179) Learn form your parents mistakes, use birth control.

180) Have you been shopping lately? They're selling lives, you should go and get one.

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Again, pretty sure I've already used some, if not all of these.  (Re-read this and realized I used two of the same in this chapter alone)

Let me know if you've ever actually used any of these comebacks.

- Emmie