echo // hemmings [completed]

twenty-three | desperate

—October 21st—

"Hey Rowan" Calum called out from across the room. The short haired girl turned to face him. "How much do you know about being a beautician?"

"What?" Rowan asked in confusion.

"Just tell me," Calum said.

"Nothing really. I cut my own hair and put on chapstick, and that's about it. I can't spend money on things like hair salons," she said.

Calum sighed. He had expected this kind of answer. But he had really, really hoped that he would be wrong and that she would tell him that she knew everything there was to know about being a beautician. Why? Because of the envelope he clutched in his hands. It was a baby blue envelope with the words "Caspian's Hair Salon" scrawled out across the top and Riley's name in the top corner. Her mail had been redirected to him for a while, but today was the first day that something other than advertisements had come through.

Months ago Riley had applied for a job there and all of them had forgotten about it. It seemed like a little thing, knowing they could just deny the job and tell them about what happened. But it really wasn't a little thing at all. Because when Calum held that envelope in his hands, he realized so many other things.

He realized that it had been two months since Riley died. He realized that this envelope in his hands was the last thing she was looking forward to before she died. He realized that this was thing that Riley had been working so hard for all this time. That this simple piece of paper was the result of all her practicing and studying. And the idea of him having to let this envelope go to waste tore him apart.

"Her last dream," he whispered to himself sorrowfully.

Calum had hoped against all odds that Rowan would know what to do and that she could fulfill Riley's last dream of being a beautician. But he knew that was dumb and selfish of him. And he knew he had to let this go. They had done so much already, that he was afraid of doing more. He held the envelope close to his heart before putting it back on the counter.

"Rowan, I'm going to take a break real quick," he announced with a pensive look on his face. The girl nodded in response. She normally didn't care when Calum took a break, but she had overheard what he said right before he left.

"Her last dream."  Those words were imprinted in her mind. After Calum had left she precociously approached the counter to pick up the envelope he dropped. And after reading she knew exactly what he meant by this being Riley's last dream. And even though she wasn't Riley, she felt a responsibility to fulfill her dream. She didn't understand why she had this sudden interest to pursue something so above her ability, but she know she wanted to. Perhaps it was because she wanted to truly be Riley, the girl missed by all. Or perhaps she just wanted to do this on a whim. But either way she left a note for Calum saying she was leaving early and made her way to the bus stop.

She sat down on one of the benches and immediately pulled out her phone, rapidly typing into keypad. The phone rang twice before the other side picked up.

"Hello," Ashton said groggily. "Rowan?"

"Hey," she said casually. "Can you help me with something?" She explained what had happened and what she had heard from Calum, hoping that he would be able to aide her. 

"But why? Why go through all of this when the problem can go away?" Ashton asked tiredly.

"I just want to help Calum I guess," she sounded unsure and she wasn't sure why, but Ashton did. Ever since Ashton had started to sober up he had been thinking more clearly and seeing things the way they truly were. Which is why he realized so quickly why Rowan wanted to do this.

"Are you sure you aren't doing this for Luke?" Rowan was thrown off by Ashton's suggestion. She couldn't comprehend why she was doing this for him when she thought she was doing it for Calum.

"What are you talking about?" Rowan said monotonously. 

"I don't know, but I feel like you're doing this for him," Ashton said, not finding the right words to phrase his thoughts.

"What makes you think that?"

"Because you want to be loved," Ashton stated. 

"I don't understand," she bit the bottom of her lip when she said this, because she knew exactly what he was getting at.

"Riley was a girl that loved. Loved by Luke and her family," Ashton said, not adding in the fact that he had loved her dearly as well. "And you're thinking that if you're more like her, you will be loved like that too."

Rowan sighed. Ashton had seen through her so well that she felt bare in front of him. He had understood what she had wanted all her life even though they only knew each other for two months. And she fucking hated it. "Rowan, what're you doing?" Ashton asked, sincerely wanting to know. And honestly, Rowan didn't know what she was doing. She was just trying to make up for everything she lacked, she was just trying to be needed.

"Never mind, forget about it," she sighed as she hung up. But Ashton couldn't forget about it, the desperation and need in her voice. It was just like how Luke sounded when he first woke up. It appeared that everyone around him was growing more and more desperate, for answers, for truths, and for solutions. Everyone was desperate. And desperation was what drives a man mad.

-

a/n: thank you for your patience with my extremely irregular update schedule

:)

xx