echo // hemmings [completed]

forty-four | stay

—March 11th—

As the dark haired girl stood there, her fists balled and trembling at her sides and her eyes full of conviction, Luke could only smile. He laughed softly at the sight of her, because no matter how scared or guilty she looked, he still found her to be undeniably gorgeous. And he hated how beautiful she appeared because it made it so hard for him to hate her and to tell her to leave. 

He recalled every single time he had told her "I love you." and he remembered how he felt every time she said it back to him. The boy wasn't sure if he truly did adore her, but he did know that he did not want her to walk out of his life. She gave him hope when he was at his worst and in the last month, he had begun to memorize every single habit of hers and had learned to appreciate all of them.

Everything from how she grabbed too many napkins whenever they went out for fast food to how she would always smile when ever he pecked her on the cheek. It was as if Rowan was some exotic creature that he did not know whether to fear or admire. And he found her so unpredictable as he could never quite tell what she was thinking.

Yet in reality, Rowan was a very easy to read person. She cursed when she was upset, she laughed when she found something humorous, and she never stopped smiling when she was by Luke's side. And perhaps that's what confused Luke so much, her persistent love for him. He always thought that kind of affection could only be seen in the movies. But what she felt was so real that the blonde saw himself in her. Because he remembered being in the same position with Riley.

He never wanted to be in an unbalanced relationship where he loved the girl more than she loved him, so he thought that Rowan's love would make him content and it did. So he used her as she used him, but when he found out about how she was just using him as a replacement, his heart dropped. When he learned about Drew, he recalled everything he had been through with the girl and that was when he realized he was no longer taking advantage of her love, as he had begun to love her as well.

Then the words rolled off of his tongue so naturally. 

"I think I might love you." 

He wasn't even aware that he had uttered those five decisive words until he saw the bewildered expression on Calum's face and the torn look on Rowan's. Luke had told her she loved him so many times before, but this time was different. Because he wasn't saying it Riley, he was saying it to Rowan.

"This is too fucking much," Calum grumbled before leaving the room with a severe headache.

"This is crazy," Rowan agreed, her face filled with confusion. "I wasn't ready for this." When Luke saw her face twisting with bewilderment, he realized that he had just made things so much worse. It would have been so much easier to just tell her to go, to just tell her he couldn't forgive her. Because then she would've left and everything would be over and simpler again.

But he didn't want things to be simple. He wanted her, the dumb girl that never saw how she had seduced him with her clumsy actions and passionate kisses. He wanted the echo of his past lover that had helped him when he hit rock bottom. He wanted Rowan Maria Evergreen.

"No, I love you," he said, correcting his earlier statement.

"Stop it!" She demanded, her eyes beginning to water. "Don't say it Luke. Please do not say it."

So he didn't. Instead he looked at her with the most affectionate gaze she had ever seen and it both melted and broke her heart. "It isn't fair," she told him. "You can't say shit like that."

"Why not?" He asked, approaching her.

"Because it'll fuck me up, Luke. It will fuck me up bad."

"Why?"

"Because now I keep replaying it in my head and it makes me so fucking happy even though I know it shouldn't," she sobbed, her hands covering her face. The boy neared her and gently pulled her into his arms. And unlike before, now she felt safe as his arms wrapped around her and her head rested against his chest. "This isn't fair. How could you ever love me?"

"I think about that too. I wonder how I could ever love the cruel girl who used me for her own selfish reasons, yet every time I come back to the same reasoning: because you're just as sick as me."

"God, I hate that that's true."

"I'm not," he stated, resting his head on top of hers and pulling her even closer to him. "I don't want to see you cry, but I'm going to say it again. I love you."

"I love you too," she murmured into his chest. "This wasn't how things were supposed to go. You're supposed to hate me right now. You're supposed to get angry at me, tell me to leave, and then beat the shit out of Michael."

"Why Michael?" Luke asked.

She chuckled. "Because this was his fucking idea."

"Shit," Luke said. "Makes sense. Yeah, I'll definitely beat his ass later." He looked her in the eye. "Do you think I'd win in a fight against him?"

The dark haired girl nodded with a small smile. He had found a way to stop her from crying so easily and it was just another quality that Rowan now stupidly loved about him. "He really wouldn't stand a chance."

"It will be hilarious when he thinks a blind guy kicked his ass."

"But you're not blind."

"He doesn't know that," Luke said with a laugh, but his humor still couldn't cut through the tension in the room as he had still had a question to answer and Rowan was still waiting for him to say the words.

"I think you know the answer to your earlier question," he said, kissing the top of her head.

She looked up at him and as their blue eyes met she asked, "Don't leave? Stay?"

He grinned.

"Stay."

-

a/n: thank you so much to everyone for being patient with me. i truly hope you have enjoyed this story as much as i have enjoyed writing it. you guys are amazing and i'm thrilled by all of your support. this book is my baby and has literally taken me years to complete. thank you for everything.

remember to vote, comment, and share.

much love and gratitude,

xx san