Sick of Losing Soulmates

06

What The Hell Would I Be Without You

Lilliana was the happiest she had been in awhile. She was singing along to her favorite songs while putting on her makeup and getting ready for her two month anniversary dinner with Aiden. He told her they had reservations for one of her favorite restaurants, so she was beyond excited. She was so happy that she decided to put all the weirdness with her boyfriend behind her. She just wanted to have a nice, quiet evening out with him.

While she was applying her powder, Lilliana heard a knock at the door. She quickly finished and got up to open the door to her smiling boyfriend. She gave him a quick kiss, and as she pulled back, she felt his judgemental eyes stare at her dress that fell mid-thigh. He looked her in the eyes but didn't say anything, so Lilliana let it go and went back to doing her makeup.

Aiden walked in and took a seat on her bed, watching in distaste as she applied product after product onto her face. With each brush she picked up, Lilliana felt his eyes on her, making her feel small again. But he didn't say anything, so she didn't either.

Once she was finally done with her makeup, she put on her heels and turned towards her boyfriend. "Come on," Lilliana said, smiling. "I'm so ready to eat."

Aiden didn't get up from her bed. He didn't say anything for a moment. He stared at his girlfriend as if he expected her to read his mind. Once he realized that she couldn't, he spoke. "Do you really expect me to walk out that door with you while you look like that?"

Lilliana felt her smile falter. She had felt so good all day, and it was crashing down right then. She couldn't find her voice for a minute. "What?"

"Oh, please!" Aiden said. "As if you don't know that you're dressed like a whore. That dress, those shoes. Don't even get me started on your makeup! It's a classy restaurant, Lilliana. Not a strip club."

"Aiden," Lilliana said, trying to keep her calm, "this is how I get dressed when I go out to celebrate. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but I'm not going to change."

"Like hell you're not going to change!"

"What the fuck do you want from me Aiden? You want me to wash off and redo all my makeup? To decide on a whole other outfit to wear? By then, we would have missed our reservation," Lilliana said, trying to keep her ground and stand up to him for once.

"If you don't change, we're not going," Aiden said calmly. "It's that simple."

"You might not be going," Lilliana started, going to grab her bag, "but I'm dressed up to have a good night, so goodbye."

She started walking towards the door, but before she could even process what's happening, Aiden jumped up from the bed, grabbed her by the forearm tightly, and pulled her back, slamming her into the wall in result. Lilliana hit the wall with a loud thud, her shoulders and back immediately forming bruises, groaning as the pain become more and more intense. Aiden just stood there, watching silently as his girlfriend doubled over in pain, the bluish-yellow bruises already showing on her shoulders through the thin straps of the dress.

Lilliana felt tears form in the corners of her eyes but she blinked them away quickly. She was not going to let him see her cry. She just stayed by the wall for a few minutes, too afraid to move or say anything that might provoke him. Lilliana was absolutely scared of him by this point, but she was more scared to do anything about it. She took a few deep breaths through her nose, trying to calm herself down, before moving.

She walked over to her closet and took off her dress, opting for a long sleeved blouse and some pants instead. She then walked over to her mirror and wiped off all her makeup until there was no trace of foundation, concealer, or eyeliner to be found. Lilliana decided that it was best to just follow through with what Aiden said, otherwise he'd just get more angry. When she finished, she walked over to him, and he smiles lightly.

"See," he said, "you look so much prettier now without having to look slutty."

Lilliana just nodded, too drained to say anything. They left her dorm room and took a taxi to the restaurant, sitting in silence the entire time. While they were eating, Aiden acted as if nothing had happened between them. He joked around and made comments as if everything was okay. Lilliana managed to smile weakly and nod at what he was saying, still too afraid to say anything.

"You know," Aiden began after they had finished dessert, "if someone had told me last year if I saw myself in a relationship with the most beautiful girl, I would not believe them." He smiled widely at his girlfriend, and Lilliana could tell that he really did like her. "I honestly don't think that I've ever been happier than I am when I'm with you. You make me a completely different person. I don't know what the hell I'd be without you."

Lilliana's eyes filled with tears again, not knowing how to feel. She questioned if her boyfriend was really a bad person, because sitting with him right then she didn't think he was. How could a person who made her feel as if she were walking on clouds be a terrible person? Before she could stop it, a tear slipped out of eye.

"Hey," Aiden said, concern laced in his voice. He grabbed her hands from across the table. "Please don't cry. I love you so much, okay. I hate seeing you cry."

At that moment, Lilliana wanted to cry more than anything. She felt her whole world crashing around her. She knew that what Aiden was doing needed to stop, but she still couldn't help but feel love for him as well. She couldn't help but see the goodness in him.

Hi. Sorry if this is really sad. I promise it'll get better. Love you guys