Sick of Losing Soulmates

16

So What's One More In Our Grey-Haired Circle

Lilliana was absolutely, completely, without a doubt jealous. Maribel's delightful girlfriend had brought out a very ugly side in Lilliana. She never knew that she could even could be that jealous. But everytime she saw Gracie, which had been a lot recently since she had been spending a lot of her time with Maribel, she felt her blood begin to boil and her cheeks heat up in a green envy. Lilliana just wanted Gracie out of her and Maribel's life.

And it's not like she even hates Gracie. She couldn't, no matter how hard she tried. Gracie was the sweetest person she had ever met. Lilliana knew that Gracie made her best friend happy, and because of that she could never really hate her. She had never seen Maribel so in love. So she just decided to live with the fact that the girl she has had a crush on for awhile now is in love with someone else.

One particular night, Lilliana was practically fuming. They were all hanging out in Maribel's dorm room, and the two girls in front of her were being way too cute around each other and Lilliana had had enough. The scene in front of her was so sweet she felt as if she could throw up. The whole time that Gracie had been there, Lilliana was in the bad mood. She didn't want to engage in conversation and she kept to herself for the majority of the time. Maribel noticed this, and when Gracie finally left, she decided to say something.

"What's up, Lils?" She questioned. "Why are you so upset?"

Lilliana rolled her eyes, as if it was so obvious what was making her so angry. She decided to be upfront about it, wanting to speak her mind instead of keeping it inside. "I don't like her taking up all of your time."

Maribel was absolutely confused, because she was almost completely sure that she and Lilliana spend as much time together as she and Gracie, so she's not seeing her best friend's point. "I'm sorry, what? This coming for the girl who left me to hang out with her boyfriend for almost two months straight?"

Lilliana's lips pulled into a frown. "How many times do I have to apologize for that? And this is a whole different situation, anyways!"

"You're right! This is a whole different situation," Maribel retorted. "Gracie and I love each other very much. And it's not like we've ever excluded you from hanging out with us."

Lilliana sighed, because she knows that Maribel is right. "I know, it's just sometimes I want to have you all to myself. I don't like that she's always there with us."

"Well, you better get used to it, Lilliana, because she's in it for the long run. I really love her, okay. What are you going to do if she ends up being the one I grow old with?"

At this, Lilliana was absolutely fuming. "You promised that we would grow old together."

"We will, but only as friends Lils. Gracie is a lot more than that to me and you know that. Besides, what's going to be one more in our grey-haired circle?"

Lilliana was finding it hard to get words out of her mouth. Maribel just doesn't get it. "You don't understand Maribel."

"What am I not understanding, Lils? Care to fill me in?"

"That I love you, you idiot!" Lilliana explodes, letting all of her bottled up feelings pour out into the room. "And the thought of you loving and being happy with someone else is enough to make me wish that I died when that car hit me."

The room became deadly silent. All that was heard was the chatter of people on the other side of the door. Lilliana was sure that her pounding heart could be heard from miles away. She felt her eyes blur up with tears as she realized what she had done. She picked up her bag and clumsily threw on her jacket before rushing out of the room, not wanting to ruin their friendship any further.

The door closed, the loud slam bringing Maribel back to her senses. Lilliana loved her? Her best friend loved her? Maribel was still trying to wrap her head around it. She had no idea what to make of this sudden confession. Her best friend had finally reciprocated her feelings, but she was in love with someone else. Someone else that made her so incredibly happy. She didn't want to risk all of that for something that probably wasn't going to work out. Maribel felt conflicted as she thought about it repeatedly.

Did she want to give up her happiness for something that could leave her so broken?