Sick of Losing Soulmates

18

Time and Hearts Will Wear Us Thin

Maribel had never been more confused in her entire life. Her best friend's sudden confession had left her feeling many things, the first of all being angry. Angry that she had liked Lilliana for the longest time and was always too scared to say anything. Maribel had the chance to be with her soulmate, but she couldn't because she waited too long.

She felt guilt. Maribel knew that she had to talk to Gracie, her beloved girlfriend who was so good for her. She knew that talking about the whole situation would be hard, but it would be better in the long run. But, for some reason, she just could bring herself to start up that conversation. Maribel felt like she knew where the conversation would lead, so it was better to just avoid it altogether.

Most of all, Maribel felt confused. She had absolutely no idea what to do. She didn't know if she should act on her reciprocated feelings for Lilliana, or if she should keep them at bay. Maribel knew that Gracie was the best choice for her. She was a sweetheart, and she made Maribel feel like an absolute princess. Gracie was a safe choice.

But Lilliana, on the other hand, was something else. Maribel had felt something for her pretty much since the day they had met. When they were together, Maribel felt all her troubles slip away. She felt alive. Lilliana made her feel like everything would be okay, even if things were the exact opposite of okay.

Maribel is so conflicted that for the next few days, she decided to cut off all contact with Lilliana. She even limited talking to Gracie to a few short texts throughout the day. Maribel felt herself slip back into her old thoughts. She slept for hours on end instead of doing her work and she ended up skipping more than a few classes. Maribel knew that her depressive habits were catching up to her, and Lilliana had always been the only one to fix that, but she didn't have the courage to text her and tell her what was wrong.

One night, Maribel was working on a very important essay, trying very hard to keep focus and ultimately failing, when her phone lit up with a text notification. Thinking it was Gracie, she grabbed it to send her a quick goodnight text, but what she had received was something that she was definitely not expecting. Lilliana had sent her a lengthy text and Maribel did not know what to do. At first, she was just going to ignore it, but curiosity got the best of her, and she found herself reading the whole thing.

"Hey, Maribel. I'm sorry it took me this long to reach out to you. I've just been dealing with some things and trying to wrap my head around everything that has happened. I know that should be your line, but still. My words shocked myself, as well. I know you probably won't respond to this, and you definitely don't have to, but I just wanted to let you know that I truly feel sorry for everything that I shouted at you. I was out of line and I hope you know that I would never come in between you and Gracie. I just had to tell you before I started to go crazy. I know that you most likely don't feel the same way about me, and that's okay. I just needed to let you know where I stand. If you need more time away from me, that's alright, too. I completely understand. I hope that you forgive me for everything, though. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant you any harm whatsoever. And i know that time and hearts will wear us thin, but I hope that we're both going to be strong enough to make it through this. Because, no matter what, you're always going to be my best friend and my soulmate, and that comes first before anything else."

Maribel's eyes were threatening to spill tears by the end of the letter. If anything, Lilliana's message had just made her even more confused. She loved Gracie, but she was in love with Lilliana. She had to choose between breaking up with Gracie, or completely ruining her friendship with Lilliana.