TATTOOED -h.s.

Chapter 16

Sarah's P.O.V

It has been two whole weeks since I witnessed the death of the person I love. I still can't get over it. I know that I hardly knew him but it felt like I knew him my whole life and when you lose someone that you love it's painful. I haven't even left my house since that night. Liam and Louis drove me home and I was just so shocked that I couldn't even move or do anything, I just stared at a wall for three days straight. I thought it wouldn't phase me like this, I never thought he would have meant that much to me. I just can't believe that he's gone. I will never get over this. I haven't left my room for the past 15 days and I don't plan on it anytime soon, I probably look like a zombie. I haven't bothered answering any of the worried phone calls or texts from Lauren, Emily, Audrey, Zayn, Liam, Louis, Niall, Courtney, anyone. I just want to be alone or be with Harry, but the second choice isn't an option now. Here we go again, more tears! How am I not dehydrated by now? Crying for 15 days straight isn't that replenishing or healthy. There was a knock on the door again, probably the 100th one this week, but I still didn't move to answer it. I rolled back into the covers and cried even harder, but I was interrupted by Lauren sitting on my bed and hugging me. "I heard what happened. I'm so sorry..." She mumbled into the rat's nest that I call my hair. After crying in her arms for about an hour, she left and told me that I needed some sleep. She was right, but I can't sleep, no matter how hard I try, no matter how many sleeping pills I take, the pain just won't let me. I just... I just thought he was stronger. I thought he would keep the promise. I thought he would win. I thought that after the fight I would run into his arms and tell him how proud I was of him...but no. That didn't happen. The lids on my eyes got heavier as I swallowed another handful of sleeping pills. Maybe now I will be able to sleep...maybe in a little bit I can be back into Harry's arms... The room began to spin, I heard the glass of water shatter against the floor, and my world became dark.

I woke up to the pounding of my head. It was a struggle to open my heavy eyelids, but I finally got them open. The room was white. A bright light above me blinded my vision. My eyes had a hard time adjusting to my foreign location. "Sarah! Oh my God!" Lauren ran over to me with tears in her eyes. "Wh...what hap...happened?" I forced from my dry lips. "You overdosed. You almost died." "I don't remember anything." I admitted. "Why would you do it? Why would you try to take your life? What were you thinking?" "Oh I don't know, maybe because the guy that I loved died in my arms or maybe because I caused his death." "Sarah, you didn't cause anything! None of those actions were your fault." "Yes they were! Everything he ever did was to protect me!" I raised my raspy, hardly existing voice. Before I could finish, Emily and Audrey stormed into the room with tear filled eyes and hugged me.

Three hours passed and I couldn't handle being here anymore.  I dialed the first number that came to mind and he told me he was on his way before I could even say hello. About 10 minutes passed and Zayn ran into the room, slowing down as he seen me in the bed. He bent over at my side and placed his hand on my cheek. "Are you okay?" I couldn't answer his question, all I did was shake my head as tears began to fall. He pulled me into his arms and I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I'm sorry..." I whispered into his neck. "I never meant to hurt you..." I added." "You could shoot a bullet through my chest and I would still not hold it against you." he mumbled into my hair. "Please get me out of here." I cried. "I can't do that." I felt his frown against my skin. I lightly pulled away from him and grabbed his hands into my pale, numb ones. "Please..." I mumbled as the tears began to dry. He stood up and walked out the door. My hope was gone... Before I could even start crying again, he walked back in. He rushed back over to me and pushed the blankets off of my cold body. He gently scooped me off the bed and I rested my head against his chest. "You're getting me in so much trouble right now." he lightly laughed as he ran outside. "But it's totally worth it." he added as he put me into the car. We arrived at my house and he looked at me and said "You okay?" "I'm fine." I forced a smile. He grabbed my face and looked straight into my eyes and said "I don't know who you're trying to fool with that, but I sure as hell know that it's not the truth. Tell me to stay and I will. Tell me what you want and I'll get it for you. I'll do anything for you. I love you Sarah and as much as I don't want to leave you alone, it's your choice. I will stay but I understand if you want to be alone right now." "I'm sorry Zayn, but I just want to be alone right now." "I understand, but promise me one thing..." "What?" "Don't do anything stupid. You experienced how it feels to loose someone you love...please don't put me through that. I can't loose you..." He mumbled while staring out his window. "Zayn, it was never intended to hurt you." I informed him as he kissed my forehead. I got out of the car and walked better than I thought I could. As I got up to my front door, Zayn rolled down his window and yelled "I'll be here to check on you tomorrow." before driving off and leaving me alone in my silent house. I laid in my bed and began to fall asleep for once, but before I fell into the deep sleep that was awaiting me, my phone rang. 'BLOCKED NUMBER' appeared on the screen. I answered it and said hello, but only silence could be heard. "Hellooo?" I repeated. "Sa...Sar?" "Who is this?" I shook. No response. "If this is some kind of a sick joke... it's working!" I began to cry. "I miss you." Is all I heard before the line went dead. Who was that and why were they calling me Sar? The voice was no where near familiar and I was so confused that I once again could not fall asleep. Wonderful!