TATTOOED -h.s.

Chapter 12

Harry's P.O.V

I hate Amber, I knew she would fuck something up like she always does. I know in the past we used to hook up for sex every now and then, but that was then and now I can't even stand the sight of her. I don't even remember her being on my lap to be honest, I was just spaced out thinking. I didn't even realize that she was sitting on me until Zayn snapped at me. Zayn would be the one, out of all people to come to Sarah's rescue. Ever since the party when I first met Sarah he had a thing for her, but he can't have her, she's off limits, she's mine. I can't believe that she is so blinded to see the real him, but most of all I can't believe that she got in the car with him. I tried my best to keep my cool for her, I wanted to beat the fuck out of him so bad, but I didn't because I seen the look in her eyes, the sadness that I caused and I didn't want to make it any worse then what it already was. I felt something when she left with him, I felt my heart burst into shreds, it felt like I lost something important to me...and I did. I was never supposed to fall for her this way...I was never supposed to fall in love with her. As Zayn drove away with the girl that I just now realized I love, the people's stares wouldn't leave my body. Before I could turn around, Amber placed her hand on my shoulder and said "What is wrong with you? Come on, let's go upstairs, I'll calm you down." I pushed her hand off of me and snapped. "Get the fuck off me, Amber! You did this on purpose, you intentionally hurt her!" I screamed in her face. "That's what she fucking gets for putting her hands on me!" She yelled back. "You fucking deserved it! You always have, you egg people on until they can't hold it in anymore! Trust me, the only reason I don't smack the shit out of you is because you're a woman!" Everyone let out the laughter that they were holding in and Courtney walked out, grabbed me by the arm, and  dragged me back inside. She pulled me into the bathroom, the only private place in this house. "Harry, we need to talk." She said. "I'm not in the mood." "Well I don't give a flying fuck, I heard what you said and so did everyone else but I'm the only one that has the balls to confront you about it." "What do you want to tell me? That I fucked up? Because I already know I did. I fuck up everything, I'm a fuck up!" "No, I'm hear to tell you that I won't tell her the truth about everything, I want you to tell her when the time is right, when she knows that you really do love her." "I don't want anyone to tell her, I just want it to stay a secret until I'm six feet under." "You have to, if you don't tell her by next month, I will. I don't care how much you protest, but I won't let you fuck up your life because of this. You can't base your relationship off of a lie forever, either you end it with her or you tell her the truth, because I know that the last thing you want to do is hurt that girl." She strained. "Either way, if I end it with her or tell her, both ways she is going to leave me." "You don't know that for a fact." "I do, because I'm an asshole and all I do is ruin people's lives." I said as I stood up and left the bathroom, leaving Courtney on the floor as she held back the tears. I got in my car and started to drive home, but instead I made an illegal u-turn and sped down the streets to Emily and Audrey's house, hoping that Lauren is there with them.  When I got to the house I knocked on the door and Audrey answered. "Is Lauren here?" I asked nervously. She gulped and said "Where's Sarah?" "She's fine, I just need to talk to Lauren for a second." "She...She's not here." She stuttered. "Audrey, I can't..." Lauren said as she walked down the stairs behind Audrey. I smirked at Audrey and said "Oh really?" Lauren looked at me and said "Harry! Oh my God, is that what Dean did to you?" She freaked. Sarah obviously told them... "Yeah, but forget that. Can I talk to you?" "Sure, hang on. Let me get my shoes." She said nervously. Audrey closed the door in my face and I sat down on the porch and waited for Lauren. She walked out and sat down next to me. "Why did you do it?" She said. "I didn't, I swear..." I protested but she interrupted and said "I don't need details, I just need to know one thing... do you love her?" "I don't know." I lied. "Tell me the truth." she said as the annoyance in her voice grew. She placed her cold hand on mine and said "You can tell me..." I broke down without control and said "I love her, I really fucking do. I can't control it, she just fucking takes over my life, she's in my head, she's under my skin, she's in my heart, my bloodstream, my veins, everything! She doesn't understand what she does to me..." She placed her hand on my face and said "She loves you." "Yeah right, out of all the people in the world to love there is no way that it's me."  I mumbled.