Please Don't Go (Seventeen Fanfiction) [#Wattys2017]

Chapter 36- Who Am I To Say?

The8's POV

I laid awake in my new apartment. I couldn't stay in the old one, it reminded me too much of her. Every night I lay awake thinking of her. My heart is aching. I miss her. I need her. How did I not know? She was with me all the time. How did I not see her pain? Her misery? I clinched my heart. The grief is too near to speak her name, but the lose is too painful not to remember. Every time I close my eyes I see her. Drowned in her own blood. Blood flowing from her delicate wrists. I can't​ imagine the pain she must have felt. Mentally and physically. Right now life is painful. Just a meare happy memory, turns to agony and torcher. I miss her voice, her laugh, her smile, her long dark hair, her beautiful brown eyes, her touch, her presents, her everything. I slowly sit up in bed. Tears fall to my cheeks and my throat begins to burn. I cry all day everyday and all night up until I pass out. I don't sleep until I pass out. I don't eat much. I still shower. I stand in the shower and let the water run over my skin, but sadly everytime I shower it doesn't wash away my pain. I slowly turn my attention to my clock. It reads 3:45 A.M. I used to love 3:45 in the morning. Because I used to wake up at this time just to admire her features. Then she would wake up and talk to me until I fall back asleep. She wasn't just beautiful on the outside, she was beautiful on the inside too. She might have been broken, but she was still perfect in my eyes. I slowly get up and make my way to the bathroom. I open the cabinet door and find my new friend. My razor. I put it between my thumb and first finger and then run it along my skin. Blood slowly drips down my arm. Everytime I cut it reminds me of how pathetic I am and how weak I am from not dealing with the pain. But it doesn't matter. I deserve this. I always did. There is dark behind the light. The sad thing is sometimes the dark wins.

Hey guys! Sorry that this chapter is so sad, but things will get better for The8 real soon. Stay strong my beautiful readers, keep dreaming, I love you all, and I will update soon.-Coolcat51