Back To You | Jerrie

Chapter 6

Perrie

"I thought you left." Jade's voice cracks at the end.

I step forward to her bed and give a tiny shake of my head. "No. I was on the phone and then I fell asleep in the chair. I told you I wasn't going to leave."

"Oh," is all she says before looking over at Jesy.

Jesy scoffs, "Dude, I fucking told you she'd be back. Pussy."

Jade gives her the finger and smiles. It's nice to see them together. I can still feel the weight of our worry about how this would play out.

I stand there awkwardly in the room, unsure of what to do. We survey each other with the questions and uncertainty stifling in the room. Each tick of the clock my anxiety builds.

Jesy clears her throat, "Well, I can see I'm not needed here. And you two need to talk. I'm going to make some calls—including your mother again. She hasn't answered and I'm afraid she might kill someone. That woman scares the shit out of me." She gently clasps Jade's shoulder. "Glad to see you decided to stop being an asshole and finally woke up. Maybe next time you won't be so dramatic about coming back to life." Jesy smiles at me and looks back at Jade. "We'll catch up later."

Jade smirks and Jesy walks by and kisses my cheek. "Be good and call me if you need anything. Talk to her."

"Perrie, please come here." Jade puts her hand out and waits.

Stepping forward until my leg hits the bed, I shudder from her proximity. She draws this from me. Her presence and power elicits these reactions from my body without permission. Jade grabs my hand and rubs slow circles against my skin. I close my eyes and savor her touch.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

My eyes open and I stand there shocked. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"Jesy told me. She said you were alone in the room," she explains.

"Yes ... no ... I don't know. I've never been more scared in my life. I wasn't sure if you were alive or dead. I just ..." I can't say anything else without losing it. I don't want to think about what happened. My heart pounds and my chest heaves.

"I'm sorry, baby."

"Jade," I say softly.

"Forgive me. I was a complete tool." Her eyes tell me it isn't about what happened hours ago.

"Please, I don't want to talk about this now." I struggle as I say the words. As much as I want answers, her health is far more important.

"I can't wait to make this right. I need to fix—"

"No." I put my hand up and soften my voice. "You can't fix everything any more than you can save everyone."

She pulls my hand and I sink on to the bed. "I can fix this. I was wrong." Jade's eyes swim with unease.

I love this woman. That's the bottom line. I don't want to spend any more time apart. We've already lost two weeks because of our insecurities and fears and misguided heroics. At what cost? We're both miserable and fighting for the same thing, but both scared.

"Yes, you were. But please, let's talk about all this later." She looks exhausted and she needs to rest. The last thing I want is to be the cause of any complications.

Jade looks away uncomfortably. "All I can think about is that you won't be here if I go to sleep. When I opened my eyes and saw you I thought I'd died."

"What? Why would you think that?" I ask confused.

She turns to me with love and conviction as she grips my hand. "Perrie, you're my heaven. So I thought I was dead, because that's when I thought I'd see you again."