Back To You | Jerrie

Chapter 24

Perrie

Keep driving. Keep your foot on the gas and don't stop.

I tell myself over and over. Don't look in the rearview mirror because it doesn't matter. It's behind me. I have to keep moving forward and pretend that I didn't allow myself to feel again.

One touch was all it took.

One word crumbled the walls I'd rebuilt.

If I'd stayed there she would've broken me down. I could see it in her eyes. She wasn't going to let me go. So I did as I promised myself before I went—I let her go first. I protected myself from yet another round of heartbreak. Which is all that seems to come from Jade and I. We hurt each other whether it's intentional or not. The damage is still the same and I've had enough to last me a lifetime.

The drive to the house in Scotch Plains is shorter than if I had to head back to my apartment, so I brought an overnight bag since Jesy and Leigh-Anne made arrangements for her to get home. As soon as Jade let me go, I had to get out of there. I needed to get the hell away from her because she'd consume me. The pain remains though.

I wipe the tears that continue to stream down my face. I can still feel her around me, her scent clings to me and I inhale it. I'd give up everything to go back in time and never have given in to her. If I'd saved myself then it wouldn't hurt so damn much right now. There's nothing more I want to do than turn this car around and run back to her. Her touch sent my entire world into a tailspin. In her arms I felt it all. The love, the hurt, the agony of our reunion, knowing it was the finale too. It was the last time Jade would ever hold me, ever touch me, her lips, her face will never be mine again.

I look in the rearview mirror wanting to go back.

Keep driving.

Pushing the accelerator faster, I fight my heart's wants. It doesn't change the circumstances we're in. My clean start is in California and I leave in four days.

Keep your foot on the gas and don't stop.

I pull up to what was my father's house and drop my head on the steering wheel. Now what? Drawing a deep breath I lean back while the ache washes over me. I remember how it felt to find out everything. How devastated I was during that press release and what it felt like to find out the love I thought we shared was built on lies.

Removing myself from the car, I open the back door and grab my bag.

"I wasn't done," I hear Jade's voice.

My entire body freezes at the sound of her voice and my legs go weak. I grab on to the frame of the door to stay upright. "What are you doing here?" I ask on the verge of sobbing.

She takes a step closer, gripping my wrists, and her voice softens. "No more running. We're going to talk. Now."

I look into her eyes and the storm rages across her face. Allowing myself a minute to take her in. She's dressed in her dark blue uniform and if I ever thought she was sexy in a suit, this just put that image to shame. I watch as she smirks when she catches me looking her over.

That sexy grin infuriates me. "You don't get it," I say exasperated.

Jade's hands move up my arms slowly. I start to draw short breaths and shake. Why does she do this to me? Why can't I fight her? I'm weak against her touch.

"I know that I love you," she says as her fingers move against my neck. "I get it, but I don't care about giving you space anymore."

"You don't care?" I push her back and she leans forward, trapping me in her arms. "God, do you hear yourself? Why are you here if you don't care?"