Baby Fever

Two

It was only a year later when Harry was asked to be a surrogate again. He was asked by his sister's friend, who Gemma referred to him after she had talked about how she wasn't able to get pregnant.

Louis was nothing but supportive, of course, but again, it was hard watching Harry be pregnant with a baby that wasn't Louis', even if he didn't want kids. He couldn't help but feel left out whenever Harry would talk to the couple about the baby with a sweet smile.

It was much harder for Harry to give this one up. It was a little girl, and maybe it was because he knew he wouldn't be seeing this baby so often because he didn't really know the couple, but Louis could see the pain in his eyes after he had given the baby to the couple.

"I love you, baby," Louis whispers, kissing the top of Harry's head as Harry looks down at his lap. "I'm proud of you, you did a really good thing today."

"Thanks, Lou," Harry replies softly, looking up at Louis and smiling wearily. The couple were in the nursery room with the baby girl while Harry was still in the hospital room recovering.

When Harry goes home he's quieter than usual. Louis notices immediately, because he knows Harry better than anyone, and asks him about it for weeks, months even until his answer isn't just a lazy shrug.

"Sometimes I get upset when I think about how you don't want a baby," He admits to Louis as Louis brushes his teeth. Louis stops mid-brush and turns to face his very bashful husband, raising his eyebrows.

"Harry, love, we've talked about this so many times," Louis says around his tooth brush.

"I know, I know," Harry groans. "And I know you have your heart set on not having any children, but honestly, I don't know how I'm going to spend the rest of my life without kids."

"Haz..."

"And I'm going to be a surrogate for another couple in six months," Harry continues. "But I can always cancel if you decide you want us to have our own baby."

Something in the universe shifts in that moment, Louis knows. Maybe the galaxies up in space, or the ones in Harry's eyes, but he feels different. Louis looks at Harry for a few seconds before turning around and spitting his toothpaste into the sink. He then turns back around and, yup, Harry's still staring up at him.

"My mother has had children with three people," Louis says slowly, leaning against the counter so it's digging into the bottom of his back. "And only one stuck around."

Harry frowns. "We won't divorce because we had children."

"I don't think we will," Louis says, frustrated with himself. "It's just hard to go through with something you've seen ruin so many relationships."

Harry looks down at his shoes. "So if Jay hadn't gotten divorced and remarried?"

Louis sighs. "I'd probably be more willing, yeah. Seeing you pregnant with other people's kids is hard, I'll admit that, and I'll also admit that you look gorgeous while doing it, but I just can't, Harry."

Harry looks up at Louis, and Louis doesn't know what his expression is. For as long as they'd been together Harry had been quiet and accepted the fact that Louis doesn't want children, and suddenly he's upset about it again.

"I think this is a conversation you need to have with your mother," Harry says, and with that, he walks out of the washroom.

♛

It's not like Louis is estranged from his mother.

He and Harry just had dinner at her house the week before, and he's always told her everything. But this is different. This is a sensitive topic for her, although Louis does agree this is a conversation they should have.

"Mum, hi," Louis says softly when his mother opens the door. Jay smiles and ushers Louis in, taking his coat for him and kissing his forehead.

"Harry called me, love," She says, and Louis rolls his eyes because of course he did. Jay chuckles and leads Louis to the kitchen, glancing at the kettle that's on the stove top. "So, I hear you've decided you don't want kids? And you just never told me?"

"Mum," Louis says weakly, and that's all he says. He doesn't know when to begin.

"After Harry called me I did some thinking as to why you wouldn't want children, because you love children," Jay says. "And then it hit me." She turns to face Louis, grabbing his cheeks so he'll look her in the eyes. "Children do not ruin relationships, Louis. Bad decisions do."

Louis exhales shakily, the weight of his wedding ring on his finger suddenly heavy.