ty_track for you
this is long because .. this is already a 2 weeks old saved part.
I forgot to publish it.
⚠
word count-1117
type- angst, fluff(?) not sure😂😅
I swung my legs back and forth feeling the cool air surround them. The sun shone brightly above my head making my arms burn. I stared off into the distance wishing he were here. To take all the pain away and make me laugh to death. But he wasn't, he was off in Seoul making his dream come true. My best friend Kuanlin hasn't talked to me for a year.
And sometimes it hits me out of nowhere, all of a sudden, this overwhelming sadness rushes over me. And I get discouraged and upset and I feel hopeless, sad and hurt. And once again, I feel numb to the world. I guess that's what depression does to you. Takes all the feelings you can possibly hold and sucks them out. Leaving you with your body, but a barren empty heart that's solid like a rock. A cold hearted rock that doesn't feel anything except sorrow and loneliness.
No matter how much I cry out into the void it's just my voice echoing back. Kill yourself no one will notice, not even your best friend. I stood up causing my black vans to hit the dirt below me, sending up a dust cloud. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear deciding I should get home before my mom starts to worry.
My lifeless body somehow managed to drag me back home. Slumping up to my driveway I noticed an unfamiliar car in my driveway. I shrugged shaking it off pulling open my big wooden door. The house was eerie quite making curiosity fog my mind.
I threw my purse on the ground by the door slowly walking into the kitchen/sitting room area. Empty. I took a deep breath exhaling it all out. Tiredly I made my way to the back porch door as I grew closer I heard voices talking. Through the screen door it was Mrs (Kuanlin's mother name), Kuanlin's mom and mine talking. They were both sitting under the shady verandah drinking lemon juice.
It was normal for Kuanlin's mom to visit considering our parents were friends when they were younger.
"Hey mom. Hey aunty" I blandly spoke pushing open the screen door.
"Hey sweetie" my mom excitedly smiled giving Kaunlin's mom a wink.
I sat on the chair across from Kuanlin's mother rubbing my temples tiredly. I closed my eyes trying to ignore the voices in my head. Kill yourself no one will notice, not even your best friend.
"(y/n), (y/n)?" my mom spoke trying to gain my attention. I rolled my eyes opening to see someone I haven't come to see over a year. He was so different now. Taller, more handsome, even more mature looking. His hair was longer. But his brown beautiful eyes were the same ones I've known since I was little. It was Kuanlin.
"Kuanlin has come to visit!" his mom happily spoke. I turned my attention to him as he smiled warmly at me.
The gummy smile I came to fall in love with. My face kept a solemn expression thinking of a thousand thoughts. I stood up violently before running into the house.
I heard my mom call for me to come back, but I couldn't. He thinks he can just show up after a year and expect me to be all jolly and happy. Ha. Kuanlin thought.
I slammed my door shut collapsing onto the wooden floor. I sucked in a sharp breath from behind gritted teeth. Heavy feet came up stairs before a knock was heard on my door.
"(y/n) open up... Let me explain" Kaunlin's voice shook as he let out a huff. I shook my head feeling salty tears form at the brims of my eyes.
"Explain? Explain how you went to Seoul and didn't he bother to reply to calls or texts?" I spat with my voice cracking.
"I couldn't... They wouldn't let me" he hit the door in frustration.
"Who wouldn't let you?!"I spoke barely audible to the human ear. I stood up wiping under my eyes pulling the door open instantly making contact with his eyes.
Kuanlin was much taller than me a good 8 inches. (a/n- the one who requested this is only 160cm so 😂) I felt so helpless standing there in the doorframe wanting for his excuse. His lies were a hurricane and my tears were an ocean. And once it began to rain violently, the truth began sinking in.
"My manager.. He said that I'd grown to attached and wouldn't focus on my career. It pained me to listen to the voicemails, read the texts and I couldn't do anything" he croaked stepping into my room making an effort to pull me into a hug.
I shot his request away feeling more tears weld up. My voice was lost, I was lost in his words. In every lie that slid off his tongue I grew anger and anger.
"Bullshit Kuanlin. You didn't think about me one second. You are a lying arsehole, a coward believing his own lies" hatred slid off my tongue like butter.
He knotted his eyebrows in a furred mess looking at me with cold black eyes. Kuanlin clenched his jaw tightening his grip.
"Bullshit?! (y/n) I frickin' cry over you every night! Feeling like an complete arsehole for not going against my managers wishes. I called your house last month looking for you, but your mom wanted my visit to stay a surprise. Don't make yourself look like the only hurt one here", tears built up in his eyes sliding down his cheeks like rain drops on a window. (a/n- i feel so bad)
I stood there whimpering as the cat caught my tongue. My mouth went dry and my feet buckled making me fall to the ground. I cried loudly letting everything that was bottled up for a year explode.
"Look I'm sorry. But I love you so much" he cried bending down and wiping my cheeks with his thumbs.
I pushed my lips onto his salty wet lips as he kissed me. Kuanlin grabbed my face pulling me onto his lap. We kissed for a couple of minutes. We both smiled in the kiss before pulling away. I rested my forehead on his.
"I love you too" I admitted.
"So you forgive me?" he cheekily smiled with dry tears on his cheeks. I shook my head biting my lip wiping his dry tears. I pecked his lips wanting more and more. And that was the day Kuanlin asked me to move out to Seoul with him. To this day we are a happy couple.
edited | June 2018
