Undercover Cops

Chapter 21

I was fuming. No, even this was an understatement. I think I lost my mind. He kissed her! I couldn't believe my eyes! How dares he forget about me? Not that we ever had something, but I thought maybe, just maybe, I'd have a chance. 

But no. I'm not good enough, as always. With boys, I never have luck. That's maybe why I decided to protect my heart and hate him right from the first time we met because I knew that he'd one day break my heart.

It was like my heart stopped, my whole system failed, and it hurt so badly. At this moment, I was 100% sure about my feelings. I loved him. I always loved him.

But he doesn't see me like that. Boy, he sees me as an annoying coworker who always picks on him for no reason. I felt for the first time in my life heart-broken, and here I was, crying for a boy. I never thought I'd even appreciate his existence one day. We have such a complicated relationship that I'm confused myself.

"What are you doing here? Wait, I already know!" barked a voice that I'd recognize anywhere.

"I'm just..." My voice failed miserably and I tried to hide in the shadow, my back turned at him. It was already night or almost night, and we could contemplate the unperturbed sky dotted with numerous stars.

"I told you to not follow us!" Joe continued, clearly angered. "I told you to trust me, and I can understand that you're worried about the mission or you dislike Taylor, but this is considered as stalking. Do you know that I can denounce you to the police right now? C'mon Demi... Stop your little game and grow up. Leave me alone and let me be happy!"

"Then go back to her!" I yelled in such a broken voice. "If you love her that much, why do you even care if I follow you? Go back to her, hold her, and stop bothering me or creating unnecessary drama!"

My tears streamed even faster when I thought of them together. I used to watch movies and mock these rejected girls acting too dramatic, but I only realized just now the pain they're going through.

"Because it's an invasion of privacy! I don't want you to know every move I make, especially with girls. If you want a boyfriend that much, just go to a strip club and I'm sure someone will find you hot enough!"

"That's what you think of me?" I asked, my voice distant and emotionless. "An attention seeker who'd take anyone? No, Joe, I'm not like you. I'm actually following you, something I've never ever thought about, there might be another reason."

Motionless, he didn't answer. After a minute of pure silence, he approached me and pulled my hair behind my ear, watching sadly my glistering eyes. His expression changed and he didn't look pissed anymore. "You cried?" He whispered, his eyes softer and filled with sorrow. "Please don't. I don't want to make you cry."

Well, he did. That's too bad. And it's too late. I already fell for him.

"Then why do you?" I countered.

I didn't wait for a reply, and I crashed my lips on his. They started moving with each other for as long as we could. It felt so right. So magical. Like they've been made for each other.

His hand held gently my hair, while mine were placed on his jaw, savoring the electric sensation traveling my whole body. I wanted to be with him so much... so strongly and intensely... He made me feel all those tingling things, every single one of his actions. When we finally pulled away for air, I pressed my forehead against his.

"Joe... I-I really... really..."

I closed my eyes, letting my tears roll down my cheeks and sighed, "I really want to be with you." I completed, opening my wet and swollen eyes. "Together."

We didn't do anything for a moment, just appreciating the night. It all felt so real, so genuine. But he wasn't mine yet, I reminded myself.

"I just really like you," I stated, my knees weak. "And I really want you to give me a chance, because..." I almost started hyperventilating as he forcefully pulled me against his chest. All these emotions conflicting in my chest overwhelmed me so much. I couldn't think straight at all. It was all new and confusing.

"I-Well,"  he stammered. "I just don't know if it will work because we're so different and plus, we're on a mission. I respect your feelings and I can't say that I didn't feel anything during that kiss, but we're... I..."

I raised my head with a glimmer of hope in my eyes. We locked eyes for a second before he stepped back and whispered the dreadful words that crushed me so badly.

"I can't be with you."

I think my heart broke into a million of pieces, and I could hear it clearly. It's insane how fast I fell for him and how fast my world could crash down. Disappointed and vulnerable, I shook my head and backed away from him even more like I didn't know him. Words weren't needed since he told me everything I needed to know. I wanted to run away to the farthest place possible, maybe to the frozen glaciers in Antarctica.

Feeling humiliated, I walked a few steps until I heard his desperate voice calling for me. "Sorry," he finally apologized, knowing that it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

I didn't respond; I simply turned around and ran away. He didn't insist, he didn't hold me back, he didn't even try to fight for me. It was the end of whatever happened between us, and he made it clear. The hardest will be to move on.

As soon as I entered our hotel room, I locked it and threw myself on the bed, sobbing uncontrollably. I didn't know he could mean so much to me in a matter of days, but I knew it was love. It hurts, God it hurts.

Was I, Demi Lovato, really crying because the devil in person -or so I once thought- rejected me?

________

Well, then. Good job, Jonas. 

Nancy xox