Kimberly ❤️
I sniffled, wiping tears as I opened the front door to the house. The kids were at school and Dak was probably out somewhere with Zeke. He couldn't have gone far because Cameron had to have been with him.
I walked upstairs to the boys room. I climbed up the ladder to Jeremiah's top bunk and placed the Storm Trooper in his bed.
"I'll be back soon." I say.
I then walk back downstairs to the kitchen. I sit at the counter for a couple minutes, before I start bawling my eyes out. I couldn't handle this. This was not supposed to be happening.
My head was killing me, but I ignored it as I continued crying. Crying wasn't going to bring him back. So I needed to stop.
Just when I did, Dak walked through the front door with Zeke in tow, holding Cameron in his arms.
"Hey babe." He said.
I just waved, not able to form words. My eyes were probably blood shot red right now.
Zeke walked upstairs with Cameron in his arms.
Dak's smile quickly faltered as he saw the hurt on my face. I watched a tear slip his eye.
"Is it really...??" He said, trailing off.
I nod, wiping tears of my own. His bottom lip quivered as more tears fell.
"This can't be happening. Nah man, not my son. Not my baby boy." He said, walking over to the couch.
He sat down and put his head in his hands, crying. I pursed my lips, wiping tears away.
"Kay?" Zeke said, walking down the stairs.
I turn to face him.
"Is Jeremiah okay?" He asked softly.
I shook my head.
"He died. A few hours ago." I respond, hoarsely.
The shock on his face let me know that this hit him hard too.
"Oh god. I'm so sorry." He said, walking over to hug me.
I cried into his shoulder, not able to control it anymore. This was way too hard.
He rubbed my back soothingly, then pulled away.
"I'm um...I'm gonna give you guys some alone time. It seems like you guys need it." He said, sniffling as he wiped a few tears as well.
"Thanks Zeke." I reply.
"No problem." He said, walking toward Dak.
He squatted down in front of Dak, who still had his head in his hands. He said a few things before making his way to the front door.
He waved before leaving the house. I just sat there, unmoving. I felt empty. Just like any mother who lost a child would.
*****
Me and Dak stood before the kids. I took a deep breath as I scanned the remaining 5. Cameron was still upstairs asleep.
"Guys...we have some...some news to share. We don't know how you're going to take it...but we have to tell you." I explain, trying to refrain myself from crying.
Dak rubbed the top of my hand with his thumb, for comfort. I scanned my kids faces again, truly missing the one that currently wasn't here.
"Uh...um...*licks lips*...J...Jeremiah he...he um...Jeremiah um, died this morning while you guys were in school." I say, gulping.
The looks on their faces only broke my heart even more. It wasn't long before the twins started with the water works, then the other 3 quickly followed in suit. Unleashing the waterworks.
I had one arm around my waist as the other covered my face. I didn't want to cry in front of them, but it wasn't working. I had to.
Dak rubbed my arm, holding me close. I covered my face in his sweatshirt, crying. He held me tightly, crying as well.
This was hard.
*****
I got to see my baby one last time, before they officially cremated him. I left some sweet kisses on his face, before they began their work.
I signed the death certificate with shaking hands. I didn't want to, but I had to. This will officially state that he is gone. For good.
Dak sat next to me, quiet as a mouse. We were making plans right now, and I was totally out of it. I couldn't think straight. When they asked what kind of headstone did I want for him, I said a Storm Trooper.
When they asked any kind of questions, my answers always involved him and weren't up to standard. I wasn't down for this. This isn't how I wanted everything to go.
"Kimberly, we need you to cooperate." David said.
"I'll cooperate when my son is in my arms telling me he misses and loves me." I say, looking toward the window.
"You have 6 more kids at home. Are you seriously going to continue holding onto this one?" He asked.
I slammed my hands on the desk, standing up.
"How dare you disrespect my son like that? I can assure you that all my kids receive the same amount of love from me. No one is loved more than the other. This one just happened to need more attention because he wasn't healthy. Have you ever lost a child? I guess not, because you're mighty quiet right now. So I suggest you let me grieve in peace, before you ever say anything as stupid like that again. Do you hear me? I am not the one." I threaten.
He sat back in his seat, shocked. I sat down in my seat, allowing Dak to grab my hand to comfort me.
"I understand. This is not what your plans were." David exclaimed.
"Damn right. And you'd outta be happy I'm still sitting here. I'm livid." I say.
He nods.
"I just wanna know what your plans are for your little boy. That's all." He said.
"Calm down babe. In order for this to work, we have to cooperate. This is what Jeremiah would want. Okay?" Dak says, rubbing the top of my hand.
I nod, taking a deep calming breath.
"Relax. We can do this." He said.
I take his advice and swallow my pride. With that I continued the planning process, trying so hard to contain my emotions.
With all the crying I'd done, I was convinced I had no more tears left. Well, at least that's what I thought.
