Accidentally in Love.

Chapter 14: Loyalty.

As the Hogwarts express departs Kings cross station, I still have no idea what I'm going to do. Will I fight for Draco? Does he even care? He almost hit Mclaggen for kissing me. He carried me when I blacked out. But any guy would do the same. Won't they? I'm so confused, I don't see him anywhere on the train. I didn't see him on the way home either. Did he even leave school? Or did he prefer to stay behind and work on mending the cabinet? Has he mended it by now? I hope not. Maybe I should start by stopping him from doing what Voldemort wants him to do. I have no idea what my next move will be, or if I'll make a move. What makes me feel better is that I know I can. But do I want to? Maybe it's better that way. Maybe I have to let go. But what will I do about his plans? Will I sit like that and wait until our school gets invaded by death eaters? No!

By the time we arrive to our dorms, I've devised a plan. I'll start doing it on the spot. I leave our common room and head to the room of requirements. It's empty, just as I expected. As I approach the vanishing cabinet I spot our sofa and the hole in my chest burns. I miss him so much.

I snap myself out of my thoughts. I have to be quick, because he can walk in on me at any moment. I get out my wand and direct it at the vanishing cabinet and whisper to myself, "I'm truly sorry Draco." And then I say more forcefully, "Baubillious." A bolt of light gets out of my wand and it damages the almost mended cabinet. I sprint out of the room, before getting caught. The moment I round the corner I hear footsteps heading to the room from the other direction. I wish so badly to go back and just see him, but I can't risk it. I tiptoe quietly away from the corridor.

The next weeks pass by slowly. I see Draco every day at the Great Hall, but I don't dare go see him or make a move towards him anymore. I chose my side already. I didn't sell him out, but I go and intend to go and break the cabinet every time it looks nearly mended. I hate that I'm doing this to him, he already looks so much worse. It breaks my heart, but as I said, I chose my side.

I'm walking to the room of requirements to check on his progress when I run into him. He's surprised to see me. "What are you doing here?"

I freeze. I don't know what to say. He still has the same effect on me after all this time. I want to run into his arms and kiss him. So what I say isn't a lie, "I miss you."

He looks even gloomier as he hears my words. He's about to speak but I interrupt him.

"I wanted to check on you, you don't look fine." I want to cry. I don't know what to say. You're getting worse because I am tampering with your work? I can't hold my tears in, they come out flowing. I'm going crazy, doing something and feeling the total opposite of it.

He pulls me into a hug instantly and whispers in my ear, "I'm so sorry, Lizzy. I'm fine. Now please go. I don't want you in trouble or hurt. I care about you too much to know better than to stay with you. Please, go." He kisses me on my cheek a soft sweet kiss then he lets me go.

I don't protest, but I don't stop crying. I watch as he enters the room and the door disappears leaving me standing here, feeling broken and confused. He cares about me? He didn't even guess that I was the one who was re-breaking the cabinet. He still trusts me too much. I hate myself. I know it's the right thing to do, but to him? I'm hurting him, and he broke up with me to protect me from getting hurt. I can't stand to be me right now!

Ginny and I don't mention anything related to what happened before Christmas, but we talk a lot about Dean and Harry. I told her that I think Harry likes her and she is less enthusiastic about her and Dean's relationship these days. It seems to me that she wants to leave him and see if she can get a chance with Harry. But the thing is, he's Ron's friend and he might not make a move. So we decide that she sticks to Dean, for now. Several weeks pass and we get distracted by Quidditch practice. Just a week before our game Ron gets poisoned and is admitted to the hospital. Harry saves his life, but he can't get out of the hospital for a while. The good thing is that I got to see Fred and George as they came to visit him. I've missed them so much. The horrible thing is that Mclaggen gets to play Keeper in Ron's place. We haven't spoken a word to each other since the night before Christmas vacation. For a week he's everyday with us, giving us instructions and comments as if he's team captain. I have to shout at him every now and then to tell him that it's none of his bloody business how I play. I can't tolerate him.