Red Love

Chapter 38

I lay the same way I have for the last four days, hugging a pillow and staring out the balcony windows.

I haven't moved or spoken in four days. I haven't done anything since I found out about her. Since I found out that she's gone.

Even though I hadn't moved or done anything to help myself, the others were doing their share to make sure I stayed healthy. The girls had come and helped clean me up, then made sure I was put in a comfortable outfit, and the boys had fixed the bed so it was comfortable. Alfred had made sure to make me a meal everyday, and Jason made sure I ate at least half of it. Bruce made it his mission to come check up on me at least once a day, even though there was almost always someone with me. But the one thing they all do that I appreciate the most is they don't pressure me.

They're not constantly talking to me, trying to get me to say something back. They're not trying to hard to get my attention or yelling at me when I don't give it to them. They're letting me take my time. And I'm grateful for that.

A knock comes from the door, but I don't bother to acknowledge it. My visitor walks into the room a couple seconds later knowing I won't get up to let them in myself.

"Hey." Jason's voice seeps into my ears as he greets me. "You...um...you have some guest."

I don't give, don't even move my eyes from their fixed stare on the balcony. I can't, I can't bring myself to do anything.

Jason sighs. "You know, maybe they'll make you feel better. Maybe..." Jason trails off.

I know what he's thinking. Maybe these visitors will make me want to talk again. Make me want to get up and do stuff, anything at that. But maybe they won't. Maybe I'll just stay this way for months until l find a way to live with this or until I die. I know what Jason wants though. He wants these people to put life back in me. At least get me to make eye contact if nothing else.

I hear Jason's steady footsteps, meaning he's walking towards me. Then, I feel his strong arms wrap around my body. I want to lean into those arms, let them warm me, let them hold me. But I can't bring myself to do it. Instead, I lie limp in Jason's arms. I'm like a corpse, dead weight. Jason looks down at me as he pulls my body close to his.

"Come on." He says, lifting me from the bed.

Jason walks down the halls silently. I want to reach my hand up towards his face, pull him to me and tell him I'm ok, but I would only be lying. To him and to myself. So, instead, I do what I have been doing. Nothing.

We enter one of the large living spaces and head towards the couch. As we get closer, I notice that everyone sits somewhere around the room.

"Oh, Lucy!" Steph exclaims as Jason sits with me on his lap. Whispers fly as Jason plants himself on one of the couches, adjusting me so that I end up slumped against him.

My head falls onto his chest right above his heart and the steady thump sends a weird pulsing feeling through me. A pulse that makes my own heartbeat seem stronger.

But the pulsing sensation quickly ends when I hear a familiar voice.

"She looks awful." Mark states in an icy tone.

"Mark!" Jennifer chastises "She just lost a loved one, and you don't look to good yourself."

Jason moves me again so that I end up facing Mark, Jennifer, and the rest of the family.

Jennifer's not wrong. Mark doesn't look that great. He has dark bags under his bloodshot eyes, his hair is disheveled and messy, and his tan complexion has been replaced with a pale one. He has the appearance of someone who has been mourning for days, losing sleep over the lose of a loved one. I must look them same way.