Red Love

Chapter 39

I run the cool, black fabric between my fingers, wondering how I found the strength to do this. How did I ever find the courage to officially say goodbye?

I had always wondered what this day would be like. I thought I would be older. I thought my mother would be here, if she wasn't already gone herself. I thought I would be accompanied by my husband or at least the staff of Arkham Asylum. I thought I would be holding tightly to my children or trying to stay sane enough to make it through the day. I thought none of it would be as it is now.

I jump as I notice a large hand grab my own. I cast my eyes up to meet Jason's and give him a weak smile. He smiles back and pulls me to him. His arms land tightly on my back, and his head rest on top of mine. He rubs a finger up and down my arm.

"You ok? You sure you're up for this?" He ask gently.

I want to scream the answer. I want to admit to him how much this hurts, how much I don't want to go through with this. How much I just want to go home and curl up and shut out the world once again. But that's not what she would want, so it's not what I'm supposed to do.

"Yeah, I have to do this." I say.

"Ok." He nods against me. "You want a moment alone?"

"Please." I breathe.

"Of course." Jason plants a kiss on my head, then heads off to talk to Cass. I run my hands down my dress again, grabbing a fistful of fabric as I do. I lift my head and look out over the parking lot of the church. It looks empty beside the couple of cars we drove, but it will fill soon. And when it does, I will have to fake a strength I don't have. I'm grateful for the emptiness.

I hear a car drive up and look over to see classic black Nissan drive up followed by a silver Toyota. As soon as the Nissan stops, a tall, well-built man with dark brown hair steps out. He opens the door behind him and a teenage girl, about the age of fourteen, slinks out. She sweeps her dirty-blonde hair out of her face, then takes the man's hand. They walk over to the other side of the car and open the doors, letting a tall blonde-haired woman and a dirty blonde haired little girl out. They turn to look at the Toyota and watch as another man steps out of the car, this one a little older but sporting the same dark hair as the first. He walks around and lets out a woman about his age, her head full of the same dark colored hair. As those two climb out, three more people step out of the back. One is a young woman with dark brown hair. She turns back towards the car and helps a small boy exit the car. On the other side, a young man steps out. Once the group seems put together, they make their ways towards the church.

I watch them walk, studying their faces and looking for a familiar one. I had made sure to invite Aunt Kathleen's closest friends, but it had been a while since I had seen any of them. Once the guest seem close enough, I start to recognize one of them. The man with dark hair, who's hand is still laced with the teenagers, his face is unforgettable. It's a face that goes way back in my past. It's a face Aunt Kathleen thought she would call her's.

"Preston." I say once he's close enough.

"Lucy." He sighs, breaking away from the pack and making his way to me. He pulls me into his chest and plants kisses on my temple. "How's my princess?" He ask.

I smile slightly. "She's managing." I answer.

A throat clears behind us, and Preston releases me, exposing me to the rest of the group.

I notice one more familiar face. Preston's sister, Marcy. The rest of the people are new to me.

"Lucy." Marcy smiles and embraces me.

"Hello." I whisper.

Marcy backs away and back towards the young man and little boy, the boy immediately wraps his hand tightly around her leg, pressing his face to her calf. I smile at him before looking over everyone else, sending them the warmest smile I can muster.