London - van mccann

29.

- Bella's pov
- a couple weeks later

I looked at Matty.
I haven't slept well since weeks.
I felt like i wanted to cry.
He wasn't getting better, I tried
I tried so hard..
In fact he was getting worse.
He wasn't even trying his hardest.
I mean he was trying, but not enough and believe me when i say that, I mean it cause I've been there trust me.
He has this fear of failing, he doesn't believe he's getting better.
I felt so bad for him.
It was hurting me, I haven't seen my brother in a while, I was so focused on helping Matty, it felt like i was losing myself almost.
He looked at me, bags under his eyes.
He bit his nails nervously "I can't do this" he said standing up
"Matty-" I whispered "I'm going absolutely mental!" He said brushing a hand through his hair

- a couple weeks ago
(The night of going to the London eye)
Matty jumped out of bed and walked to the bathroom quickly
I opened my eyes and rubbed them
I knitted my eyebrows together
I stood up and walked to the bathroom
I saw Matty standing there, he was freaking out
"Matty" I said calming him down
He breathed heavily "Matty" I said again turning on the shower
He looked at me almost crying
I held his face in my hands
"Calm down" I whispered he looked at me still freaking out.
His body was shaking.
I felt the temperature of the water waiting for it to turn warm
"Here go in" I whispered
He stepped into the shower
I pulled my shirt off and got into the shower with him "oh god" I whispered to myself
"Matty sssh" I whispered looking at him
I almost started crying too
"I can't stop.." he whispered "I don't wanna give up" he whispered
I pulled my arms around his body
"I'm here Matty" I whispered calming him down

It was around 1am.
He grabbed his jacket and walked out of his apartment "Matty!" I said walking after him
"Where are you going?" I said
We stood in the lift a few moments later
"Matty answer me" I said looking at him
He didn't answer me.
I bit the inside of my cheek
Ones the lift opened we walked out
He walked up towards his car a few moments later "you aren't driving" I said
I was so worried at this point
He stepped in, so did i
He started the car but didn't drive.
He just grabbed the steering wheel very tight
I looked in front of me, After a few moments 
he started driving, he drove down the street
At first normal, but he sped up the car
He was going really fast
"Matty stop the car" I said looking at him
He clenched his jaw and started driving even faster "stop the car!" I screamed being scared
He didn't look at me, he started driving even faster "matty! Slow down!" I yelled
"Stop it!" I yelled looking at the road a head of us he didn't realize what he was doing.
Then a car came into the way.
I quickly pulled away and made him stop the car.
The car stopped, I was out of breath.
I closed my eyes breathing heavily
And got out of the car
He did too.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize-" he started
"Don't." I whispered cutting him off opening my eyes, i was so done with everything at this point.
I started walking away from the car
"Bella, where are you going?" He asked
I didn't answer him
"Bella, come back!" He said as i walked further away from him he stopped me from walking when he stood in front of me
I started crying, "Bella" he whispered
I tried to help my brother, but i couldn't so he went to rehab to get better help.
I mean I helped him, but he got a downturn meaning he started doing drugs again..
After the clinic, he got nightmares at night and he started to be depressed.
So that's why i wanted everything to turn out well for Matty.
And I wanted to help him, cause i loved him and i didn't want him to go through the same.
I looked at him, "let me drive" I said walking back to the car
He walked next to me, I sat down in the car and started the car
We drove in silence back to his apartment.
Ones we got there, i stopped the car and got out.
We entered the building and stepped into the lift. "I'm so sorry-" he whispered but i cut him off by giving him a kiss "I know you wouldn't do that normally" i whispered
He brushed hand through his hair looking down.
Ones the lift doors opened he opened the door and walked inside the room.
I grabbed my phone and called someone who could calm him down a bit "George" I said ones Matty was laying down on his bed
"Yes love?" He asked "you weren't asleep or anything right?" I said with a nervous chuckle
"No no, I was watching tv what's the matter?" He asked softly "it's about Matty..you gotta come over something happened" I whispered
There was a short silence until he spoke up again "I'll be there in 10 yeah?" He asked "thank you" I whispered before ending the call

- van's pov
I looked at me my phone
"I really want to call her, mate" I said looking at Benji "how's she doing? Do you know?" I asked looking at him "haven't heard of her since a couple weeks actually, mate" he said looking down i sighed
She hasn't left my mind since she left.
I called her lots when she left.
I called her a couple times weeks ago, but it went straight to the voice mail.
I got up and left the backstage area to look for Cara.
She stood in the hallway looking at her phone
"Alright lass?" I asked with a smile waking towards her she nodded with a small smile
"I'm- have you heard anything? From Bella?" I asked she shook her head "last time was a couple days ago, she texted me saying she wasn't feeling really well and that she was busy.." she said i nodded, there was a short silence until she spoke up again snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Playing Glastonbury in a bit eh" she said with a smile i nodded "I'm dead exited man" I said smiling she nodded smiling at me

-Bella's pov
I looked at Matthew who was looking at George having a conversation.
I walked into the kitchen and closed my eyes
I was drained, mentally and physically.
George helped Matty calm down a bit
But i didn't know what to do.
I honestly didn't know.
I walked back towards the two of them and sat down on the couch looking at them
"Bella" George asked "yeah?" I answered
I was kinda pissed at Matty for almost killing us but on the other side, i could not leave him like this..
"You should go home, have some sleep" George said with a weak friendly smile
"But i can't leave-" I started "I'll stay the night yeah?" He said and nodded his head into the direction of the kitchen mentioning me to walk with him, I stood up and looked at Matty for a moment before entering the kitchen with George "listen Bella, you are doing everything you can and Matty wants you to stay obviously but you see what this is doing to yourself? You are wrecked.." he said looking at me
I looked at the ground "he brought you and himself in danger, you need time for yourself Bella, you can't put up with this" he whispered
I bit my lip, I wanted to cry
"I'll stay, help him for sometime but you really, really gotta take your time cause this is not healthy" he said looking at me and leaned in to hug me, I wrapped my arms around his body
"But you are such a strong young women, bella you deserve to be happy" he whispered
After a few moments we broke away
"Thank you" I whispered looking at him
He nodded and shot me a half smile
"I already told him that i want you to go home and take some rest-"
"How did he take it?" I said "he didn't want you to go, but he understood" he said i nodded
"I just feel so bad George-" I started
"He started this so he had to finish this.." he whispered cutting me off
I walked back into the living room area with him and looked at him "I'll see you soon" i whispered kissing his cheek
Angry, and in love with him, and tremendously sorry, I walked out of the door.
I stepped into the lift and closed my eyes for a few moments.
Everything felt heavy, everything felt like falling down.
I stepped out of the lift and walked back home.
I unlocked my door and saw Tom sitting on the couch.
I looked at him and swallowed, I said nothing
"Bella? What's the matter?" He said confused
I just closed my eyes and started crying softly
I hurried my head in my hands
He walked towards me and hugged me
Everything was a mess, it was just one big mess
I couldn't think straight.
We just stood there in the opening of the door
"I miss Cara, I miss her being here, I miss van who would assure me at 4 in the morning, I just miss everything, I miss how everything use to be, everything changed so quickly" I whispered crying, he sighed "oh Bella" he whispered we broke away from the hug
I looked at him "should i call her?" He asked i shook my head "not now, its late over there" i whispered he nodded "is there anything i can do?" He asked closing the door
I shook my head wiping my tears
"I'll make us some tea" he whispered walking off to the kitchen "I'm gonna take my make off and clean myself up a bit yeah?" I said he nodded, I walked towards my bedroom and looked at it, I looked at my bed
I haven't slept here since that night Matty and i went to the London eye.
I grabbed a shirt that was laying across the room and undressed myself, throwing that shirt on and walked into the bathroom
I cleaned my face and tied my hair in a bun walking back into the living room/kitchen
I sat next to my brother, he handed me the cup of tea and sighed "I hope you come 'round again, I haven't seen you smiling in ages" he whispered

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Hello guys!
Hope you enjoyed this!
Lots of love!