- Bella's pov
- a few weeks later
I looked at myself in the mirror.
I didn't feel okay, even though I've been getting on well with my mom and dad again.
Being good back at my work.
I missed Cara already, i missed van and i missed everyone back there.
I sighed and grabbed my purse "where are you going?" My brother asked me "out." I said looking at him "have fun" he said with a smile i nodded with a small smile opening the door
I walked out of my apartment and stepped into the lift.
Van found out that i left one day after i left.
He kept calling me but i didn't pick up.
I tried to forget about him.
The doors opened and i walked out.
I went to my favorite bar.
The one where me and Van met, the one Matty and i always use to go to.
The walk there lasted for 5 minutes, maybe less
I opened the door of the pub and walked in.
I saw Stefan, the bartender he smiled at me
"Well well well" he said with a chuckle
I smiled walking towards the bar "haven't seen you in a bit eh" he said walking towards me
I hugged him "yeh it's been a while" i laughed
We broke away after a few seconds
"Wow, you look a bit different eh?" He said
"Me?" I asked he nodded "different hair, it's longer" he said brushing through it with two finger i smiled at him "what do you want?" He said walking back
I sat down and sighed "something strong" I said he chuckled "vodka" I said he nodded
"So..how are you?" He asked handing me the drink "I'm doin' alright i suppose.." I whispered he looked at me "you sure? You look a it tired and that" he said i nodded "I am" I answered
I walked out of the pub and decided to go to another to see some other people there.
I walked a few minutes and opened the door op the bar.
But when i walked in i saw someone who i didn't think i would see..
"Listen yous are all twats i don't understand" he said drunkly with a bottle of wine in his right hand "Matty go home" a guy that was standing next to him said "no I'm actually-" he started but turned around and saw me
"Bella?" He asked i swallowed he walked towards me but almost tripped over
I sighed "Matty come on I'll bring you home-" I started he stood in front of me putting two fingers through my hair "I missed you.." he whispered cutting me off
He changed slightly, his hair was a bit different, he looked a bit older but not much.
His hair was a bit more curled
I closed my hair, i missed his smell
I opened my eyes and shook my head
"I'll take you home.." I whispered opening the door he walked out of the door with me lighting a cigarette "where have you been?" He asked me as we walked "here, and in New York" I answered not looking at him
"New York?" He asked i nodded "why?" He whispered taking a drag of his cigarette
I didn't answer him.. he wouldn't even remember this in the morning.
"Bella.." he said i almost felt myself starting to cry..
But I didn't.
"Are you doing cocaine again?" I whispered looking at him while we were walking
He didn't answer me.. he just looked a head of him "matty, answer me" i said looking at him
He just nodded, i closed my eyes for a split second
After a few minutes we got to his apartment
He tried to unlock the door but failed cause he was drunk, i grabbed the keys from his hand and unlocked the door
He walked in and sat down on the couch "you don't know how much i missed you.." he whispered
I sighed "I missed you too matty" i whispered
"I don't know why i started again Bella, I just missed you and tour and family issues and-" he started as i sat down next to him
"Ssssh Matty" I whispered softly brushing though his hair "I'm here now.." I said looking at him "but you'll be gone in a few minutes.." he said looking at me, I looked away and stood up "you can't expect me to just- I haven't seen you in two fucking years- I don't even know how i feel right now we ended so badly-" i said but sighed looking at him
"I don't know if this is what i want anymore" I said lying to him, i know that i was lying cause we all know i loved him, still.
"You got back together with Van haven't you?" He asked standing up
I looked at the ground "talk to me" he said
"In those three years, no but Cara got a job as drum tech and when we met the band it was van's band and we spend some time together in New York and-"
"So yeah." Matty said
I swallowed "yes." I whispered
"So you actually had feelings for him when you told me you hadn't, when we still were together?" He said
I looked at him and nodded
He sighed "but i loved you, you know?" I said tearing up "I love you more then anyone! I liked him because our relationship was domed like- he was my escape, but now everything changed and-" I said but stopped myself
"Are you two in a relationship-" he started
"No." I whispered
"But yous-"
"Just when things started to get good again, he kissed someone else." I whispered with a tear falling out of my eye
He looked at me "what a fucking cu-"
"Matty?" I said "yeah?" He said pissed
"Let's just- sleep yeah?" I whispered he nodded standing up he walked towards his bed and got in "Bella?" He asked "yeah?" I whispered
"Can you please stay?" He whispered unbuttoning his blouse "matty- you won't even remember-"
"Honestly I'm not that drunk, i will definitely remember everything that happened tonight." He said looking at me laying under the white covers.
I swallowed looking at him, i walked towards his bed and lay down next to him under the covers.
He shot me a small smile "I'm glad you are back in London" he whispered closing his eyes for a second "i honestly missed you so much, I've done you so many times wrong, and while you were gone i understood that you were the one for me you know? I dated this girl, Gemma for a while but it wouldn't feel the same, i liked her but it wasn't love, you are the only one that i truly loved..you will always be that person" he whispered
A single tear escaped my eye "I love you Bella" he whispered looking at me
"I always have, i can't imagine spending my life without you.."
-
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