I'm a Mess and You're a Work of Art

Chapter Eighteen - Little Girl Why Are You Crying?

Well, mom made it through the night, barely.

Her breathing was raspy and labored the whole time. The doctors don't know what else they can do, and that breaks my heart.

I was in the bathroom. I slept the night in my mother's room as I often did when I visited. When I finished washing my hands, I caught the figure staring at me from the mirror.

My eyes were beginning to form purple rings. Well that's not surprising. I haven't slept much in these past few weeks. On other people, it wouldn't look as bad or noticeable, but I'm pale as hell so it looked like I had bruises.

I sighed before brushing my teeth quickly and then making it back to mom's room. Walking towards it, I peeked inside to see nurses unhooking the machines from her. Mom's face looked peaceful with closed eyes. At first I thought she was getting moved to another room, then I saw that one of the nurses covered her face with the blanket.

When the doctor, who was standing by the door, finally noticed me, a look of sadness over came him. He walked over to me,"André... I am so sorry to say... but your mother passed away a few minutes ago."

That was it.

"No she didn't! Did you guys make sure?!" I tried with all my being to not believe him. This could not be real.

"André... You cannot mistake death. Especially in my field." He tried to explain.

"Oh really?!' I spat as tears filled my eyes,"It happens all the time!" I kept rejecting his claims but he just shook his head.

"She did leave something for you..." The Doc reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He held it out to me and I tried to dry my eyes as I reached for it.

"Thank you..." I managed to say before he nodded once and walked away. Once he was gone, I took in a deep breath and unfold...

"Dear André,

I'm sorry you had to see me in the state I was in. It must've been so hard for you but you still kept visiting me and bringing me flowers and jolly ranchers (you know they're my favorite!!).

I'm so proud of  you, angel. You grew up to be such an amazing person and an extraordinary tattoo artist. Ever since you were a little girl, art has always been your passion. I am gifted to have seen you turn it into a successful career. I know you were a bit of a trouble maker growing up (but who wasn't?) but I have always loved you and always will. You are my little angel.

I know I promised you I would stop smoking, but it was an addiction that came back to haunt me, and I let it take over. For that, I'm SO SORRY. I let you down but I am forever greatful that you continued to show me support and care for me.

I'm sorry it progressed to lung cancer... I was so scared about what would happen and the majority of it was fault. Either way, I fought for as long as I could, for your sake. You have always been the reason why I continued on with life.

My biggest regret was sending you off with your father. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.. I remember reading all your letters about how he made you throw all your band shirts away but you still kept them or how you smuggled in spray paint. That's my girl! Never let a man dictate your life!  Be your own person André!

Lastly, don't let my death ruin your life. I know I was a big part of yours and you were a big part of mine but don't let it take you over! I want you to be happy! I died being content with my life and I want you to be content with yours! I know you beat yourself up for everything but you are so much better than that! Everyone was aware of your amazingness... except you. All the things people said to you... do not matter anymore. It's all about now and the furture. Live your life! Find a lover if you want! Get married if it suites you! Just be yourself and enjoy it!

I love you SO much my little angel!! Have a happy life.

Love, Mom."

I put the letter down and began crying harder than I ever had before. 

-Mike's P.O.V-

I woke up with Billie's head resting on my shoulder. I casually pushed him back and got up to stretch. Damn, sleeping in a chair is not exactly comfortable. Especially if it's a hard ass hospital chair. When I finally felt my back crack I relaxed and looked over at Tré who was still sleeping.

"Lazy bastard.." I chuckled and made my way to the vending machine. What made me get up in the first place was the fact that I was starving.

I put a dollar into the machine and bought two sour patch kids. I know, not the healthiest breakfast ever but hey, the sugar will get me up. When I get home, I'll devour a whole box of froot loops.

I opened a pack and started popping some into my mouth as I walked back.

"Oh so you got me breakfast?" Tré was awake and smiling widely from his hospital bed.

"Good morning sunshine!" I learned against the door frame and threw him the other pack of candy,"Do you remember anything?" He thought for a moment.

"I remember stage diving and face planting the ground.." Tré shifted and looked at his ankle, which was wrapped in a cast and bandages,"When'd I break my foot?" 

"Nah, sprained." I looked over at Billie who was still asleep,"Hey, watch this." I said quietly and I threw a Sour Patch Kid in his mouth. He got up with a start and then started chewing when he realized there was candy in his mouth. "The fuck was that? Either way, it's delicious!" Tré and I started laughing and at some point Billie did too.

"I'll get you back." He promised with a smile as he stood up, facing Tré.

"Looks like you didn't die on us dude! You scared the fucking shit out of us."

"Psh, you ain't getting rid of me that easily." Tré smiled as he began fumbling with the bag of candy.

"Hey, didn't André say to bring her over when Tré was up?' Billie looked at me as I scratched the back of his head,"Oh yeah..." I put another Sour Patch in my mouth.

"Tennesse's here?" Tré looked at both of us and I nodded, walking to the door. "Oh yeah... Be right back then."

I walked down the halls until I found it and when I looked into it, it was empty. The sound of someone crying reached my ears and I turned to see André in the next hallway. A piece of paper was in her left hand and she covered her flooding eyes with her other.

I put my candy away in my pocket and rushed over to her. She didn't need to tell me what happened.

She looked at me, tears streaming down her face.

I hugged her tightly,"It's gonna be okay André. She's in a better place..."